I need to stop doing this 😭

Empathy is a crucial skill in building meaningful relationships, but sometimes, when we try to connect with others by sharing our own experiences, it can unintentionally come across as self-centered. I’ve noticed that when I attempt to relate to someone's story by telling them something similar about myself, I often end up dominating the conversation and shifting the focus away from their feelings. This is a common pitfall that many people, including myself, face. To improve this, I’ve started practicing active listening, which means fully concentrating on what the other person is saying without thinking about how I will respond or what personal story I want to share. Instead of immediately jumping in with something similar from my own life, I try to ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share more about their experience. This makes the conversation more about them and less about me. Another technique that helped me is validating the other person's feelings by acknowledging their emotions. For example, saying “That sounds really challenging” or “I can see why that would upset you” before sharing anything related to my own story. This approach respects their experience and shows that I am truly trying to understand them. It’s important to be mindful of not turning empathy into a competition of experiences. Sometimes, the best way to support someone is just to be there and listen without offering your own story right away. Through my own personal experience, I’ve learned that empathy is about connection and presence, not comparison. If you find yourself struggling with this, try reflecting on why you want to share your story—if it’s to help, wait for a natural opening. If it’s to be heard, recognize that sometimes empathy requires silence rather than sharing. In summary, genuine empathy comes from attentive listening, validating feelings, and being present with someone’s experience rather than shifting the focus to yourself. It’s a practice that takes time to develop, but it greatly enriches your relationships and communication.