Parenting is rough…
Hey friends!
It’s been a while since I’ve written here. This week has been rough 🫠
We brought the kids to swimming on Saturday, and I’m not sure if it’s the weather that day at the swimming complex - super hot and sunny in the outdoor area, and super coldddd in the indoor area. But the next day, my boy started to run a fever 🥲🙃
The fever continued to Monday, which means no school 😅
On a regular day, handling 1 or even both kids are still quite manageable, but when the kid is cranky max, omg… 🫠
Cranky all day, then all night. Constant scream cries. Endless cycles of “yao ___” (want this) followed immediately by “bu yao ___” (don’t want it).
(is anyone else's toddler also like this? My girl is not la…)
Day one, I held it together pretty well.
Day two — waa it got too much...
i survived a chaotic, screamy lunch in public (which I somehow managed with relative calm and grace), but by late afternoon/evening, with barely any break other than a 10-minute nap (while queuing for a bubble tea lol), I hit my limit. Overstimulated + burnt out - I couldn’t take the scream crying anymore.
i had to step away, leave him crying on the floor while i cried a bit myself… had to cover my ears and take some deep belly breaths.
Fortunately, within a few minutes, the inner dialogue shifted from “God help me”to “It’s okay, girl. You’re doing fine.”
Once I felt more regulated, I could come back to him - not just to soothe him, but to actually hold him. To guide him to calm down before i “bao bao” him again.
after that, he even joined me in cooking dinner - helping to put noodles and veggies into the soup. 🥹
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so… today’s reminder to self and all parents:
We don’t have to be perfect in our parenting.
But we don’t give up when it gets hard.
Staying regulated while caring for a dysregulated child is one of the hardest - and most important - things we do as parents.
Because in those moments, we’re not just responding to them, but ourselves (and our inner child too).
We’re also rewriting what gets passed down.
And that capacity doesn’t just “happen.”
It’s a lot of work - relentless inner work - to learn how to feel safe in our own bodies, in our own presence.
This is the kind of inner work I’ve been exploring more deeply lately - through introspection, self-coaching, and also through gentle grounding practices like yoga, reiki and sound.
Not as something “extra” we do when life is calm,
but as support for moments exactly like this.
Till next time,
Beoz
One thing I've learned from experiences like these is how crucial it is to recognize and manage our own emotional responses when caring for a dysregulated child. Parenting is demanding, especially when little ones are unwell or overwhelmed, and it can quickly lead to parental burnout if we don't pause and regroup. In my journey, incorporating gentle grounding practices such as yoga and sound therapy has been a game changer. These tools help maintain my inner calm, making it easier to support my child through tantrums and discomfort. Also, small moments like involving my child in simple activities — like cooking dinner together — can redirect their focus and create connection amid the chaos. For any parent feeling stretched thin, remember that perfection isn’t the goal. Instead, it's about persistence and compassion — both for your child and yourself. These challenging days, while exhausting, are opportunities to build resilience and rewrite patterns of stress for the next generation. If you find yourself overwhelmed, try taking deep breaths or stepping away briefly if safe to do so. I’ve found that even short breaks let me return with renewed patience and presence. Sharing these honest moments fosters community and helps us realize we’re not alone on this tough parenting path.
