Year 30 has me questioning it all : who am I ?
Who am I
Outside of what I do, how I am forced to function , who am I.
In this box of daily tasks , standards set by the world around me , what else is there ?
When all my personality has run dry and I am now just set in motion to function in the facets predestined by fate… who am I ?
Searching for an old self seems useless, progression in itself seems futile , is this who I will always be ?
Will the shimmer I once possessed loose its glisten as the medial task of being alive rolls in like a heavy fog?
Leaving me buried, breathing heavy, every inhale harder to force into my lungs.
Who am I ?
Who am I when I stop grieving for the feeling of who I was ?
Who am I when I finally crawl out from the tomb and become who I am destined to be .
What a messy glorious journey to
Who. I. Am.
Turning 30 often triggers deep reflection about who we truly are beyond our work, duties, and the world's expectations. I’ve found myself asking similar questions: beyond the daily grind and the roles I've been assigned, what remains of my true self? This period can feel like a fog, where the spark of personality dulls under the weight of routine. Through my own experience, I've learned that the sense of losing my previous identity is more common than I thought. Rather than searching futilely for the 'old me,' it’s helped to embrace change as part of the ongoing journey. The process of grieving a former self is natural, but it also creates space to form a new, authentic identity shaped by present experiences. This transformation isn’t always clear-cut or easy; it can feel like crawling out of a tomb into an unknown, sometimes messy, yet ultimately glorious version of who you are destined to be. Persevering through this fog of existence requires patience and self-compassion. Engaging in mindful reflection, journaling, and seeking connections with those who resonate with your feelings can provide support. If you feel buried by life’s demands and struggle to breathe freely amidst these questions, remember you are not alone. Embracing the uncertainty and allowing yourself to evolve can lead to a deeper understanding of your unique identity. The journey to discover who you really are in your 30s, though challenging, is a powerful step toward living more fully and authentically.