Story Time - part 1
I was 27 when we found out I was pregnant with my 2nd.
Honestly I had wanted another child for my daughter for such a long time. Me and their dad have been together for 7 years at that point and just days before we found out, he told me he didn’t want to have anymore kids.
I was crushed, disappointed, and heartbroken. I tried to come to terms that I wouldn’t have another child and be okay with that, even though I was almost desperate for one. Turns out, I wasn’t okay with it.
The next few days my boobs were really sore and he convinced me to take a test. Mind you, I had wanted another child and I hardly taken tests before that all came back negative, leaving me heartbroken. I was extremely hesitant about taking one but did so. 3 positive tests later, he was in shock that I was pregnant with my second baby and I was so happy!
But then all the what ifs started pouring in. Then the very high anxiety on having those around me want to take my baby from me. Then finding out I was having a boy brought on new fears for me.
Did I pick the right partner to have this boy with?
Would I be okay if he turned out like his father?
Would loving him make him soft or weak?
Would I be able to share the parenting role with his father?
Would my daughter still get one on one time with me?
Would she think I chose her brother over her?
During this pregnancy, so much was going on. I lost my best friend of 14 years because I chose to have this child. We were renovating our house. My daughter was having her behavior issues and I just started looking into it my daughter has autism or not. I didn’t have my sisters close to me this time like I did during my first pregnancy.
It was an emotional roller coaster for me and I spent a lot of it crying to my partner and to my therapist. I found myself retreating heavily into myself and my mind. Everything was foggy and there wasn’t much enjoyment for me.
Even after I started leaving the house and following my partner around while he worked (he worked outside cleaning pools) I felt better but still distant from myself.
Yeah, I wasn’t alone all day.
I spent days with my feet in the water.
I was out of the house.
I got out of my head for a while.
I listened to music and true crime podcasts.
And for that time, I did feel better.
Just not myself.
#storytime #embracevulnerability #pregnancy #healingjourney #mentalhealth #mentalhealthjourney #happyyourehere
Pregnancy can be an overwhelming experience, as mothers navigate complex emotions and fears regarding the future. Anxiety is common, especially when considering family dynamics and the well-being of existing children. Emotional support during pregnancy is crucial, and many women find comfort in sharing their stories, whether with partners, friends, or professionals. Additionally, understanding potential behavioral concerns in existing children, such as autism, can further complicate the emotional landscape for expecting mothers. It’s important for pregnant women to seek help when needed through therapy or support groups. Embracing vulnerability and discussing these feelings openly can foster deeper connections with others facing similar struggles. Engaging in self-care activities, like spending time outdoors, indulging in relaxing hobbies, or even listening to podcasts, can greatly improve mental health during this transformative period. Remember, it is completely normal to experience an array of emotions during pregnancy. By sharing stories and experiences, mothers can create a supportive community that reassures them they're not alone in their feelings.
