Don't try to fix it...

One of the fastest ways to make someone feel alone is by trying to solve their problem before you've actually listened to it. Most of us don't do it because we don't care. We do it because discomfort makes us want to fix something. So our spouse tells us they're overwhelmed, our ki

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The biggest mistake cheaters make #fyp

Cheating is not an accident. It is a sequence of conscious decisions. People love to reduce it down to “it just happened” because it sounds less brutal than the truth. But cheating starts long before anything physical happens. It starts with entertaining the conversation. Hiding messages. Seekin

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Don't try to fix this ask this instead #fyp

One of the fastest ways to make someone feel alone is by trying to solve their problem before you've actually listened to it. Most of us don't do it because we don't care. We do it because discomfort makes us want to fix something. So our spouse tells us they're overwhelmed, our ki

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Is it cheating?

Cheating is not an accident. It is a sequence of conscious decisions. People love to reduce it down to “it just happened” because it sounds less brutal than the truth. But cheating starts long before anything physical happens. It starts with entertaining the conversation. Hiding messages. Se

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How does a cheater ‘change’ so quickly? #fy

CHEATING SUCKS! is my latest kickass book for those whose head is swirling and gut is sunk in a ton of knots of pain, distrust, betrayal, sorrow, and fear! You’re lost, don’t know what to do, but feel pressured to forgive, forget and so much else!! Or maybe they’re making wild promises, denying it

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The two mistakes people make regarding healing

Healing doesn't mean pretending it didn't hurt. Healing means rebuilding your relationship with yourself. It means learning to trust your own judgment again. It means becoming strong enough to set boundaries, hold someone accountable, and walk away if their actions don't align

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One of the most brutal truths...

One of the hardest truths you'll ever face is this You are either contributing to the dysfunction... or allowing it to continue. That doesn't mean abuse is your fault. It doesn't mean trauma bonds aren't real. Leaving painful relationships can be one of the most difficult thin

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We always need to get our cup filled #fyp

A lot of adults are still living by rules they learned as kids. Not because they’re true. Because they worked. Every kid wants the same thing: love. And the way kids experience love is through attention. If there are six kids in the house, there simply isn’t enough attention to go around.

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Considering confronting your parents? #fy #f

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Do you let things build up?

They happen because of a hundred small moments that were ignored. The hurt you brushed off. The resentment you swallowed. The times you felt unseen, unappreciated, or disappointed but convinced yourself it wasn't a big deal. Until it becomes a big deal. Then one small trigger sets ev

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Children don't stop loving their parents

Children don't stop loving their parents. They stop loving themselves. I've spent decades counseling adults who still carry the wounds of childhood. What's remarkable is that very few of them stopped loving the parent who hurt them. Instead, they concluded: "It must be me."

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Cheating Truth

People love to blame cheating on temptation, bad communication, or an unhappy relationship. But those are symptoms. The real problem starts long before someone ever crosses the line. Cheating is born from an internal disconnection. A person loses touch with who they really are, with their

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The mistake in cutting off mom and dad! #fy

Get “There’s a hole in my love cup” my 64-week TOP 10 bestselling book that will kick your butt and change your life. Get it at my website BadassCounseling.com. Available as audiobook ebook paperback. In Spanish French German & Swedish. Also get the official workbook to accompany it, full of q

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Letting down your walls

One of the biggest mistakes people make in healing is believing they’re doing it wrong. Someone starts crying. Someone else feels nothing. Another person gets angry before they ever feel sadness. None of those reactions are more “correct” than the others. There is no universal timeline for

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Healing your inner child isn't gentle.

Healing your inner child isn't gentle. It's painful. Because healing forces you to grieve not only what happened to you, but also what never happened. The bedtime stories you never got. The hugs. The encouragement. The apology that never came. The parent you kept hoping would final

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Has the cheater truly changed? #fyp

If you’ve been cheated on, you’re probably asking the wrong question. Most people become consumed with: “Have they changed?” “Can I trust them again?” “Will they do it again?” But the more important question is: Have I healed? Because if you haven’t healed, you’ll continue living i

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It is impoetant to rest

It is so important to REST. You are entitled to PLAY in life. It can be so hard to engage in holiday because of life weighing you down but you need to find time to be present. Ready to understand yourself further and stop pleasing people? Tune into The Badass Counseling Podcast wherever you

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If no trust? Why trust them?

Until you have a real strong sense of certainty that you can trust them, you are only trusting them out of fear and obligation. That means if you are asking yourself, whether or not you can trust them, you’re making a huge mistake, because it means you are rushing into this decision. The sing

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You have always felt unwanted

When a child feels unwanted long enough, they stop believing it’s just something happening to them… and start believing it’s who they are. Their identity is still forming, and the words, neglect, emotional absence, and pressure press into the wet cement of their soul, and that cement hardens, over

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You aren't crazy #fyp

One of the deepest wounds childhood trauma, emotional abuse, or toxic relationships leave behind isn’t just the pain. It’s teaching you not to trust yourself. You stop believing your own memories. You question your instincts. You wonder if you’re overreacting. You spend years looking for some

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