Posting and dipping again, but wanted to say what I had to say first
I noticed my Home Screen today and it kind of said everything.
I have hundreds of unread notifications because I get overwhelmed and I shut down. Not because I don’t care. Not because I’m ungrateful.
I hit ten thousand followers on TikTok earlier this year after months of pushing hard. Time, money, energy. And then I got there and didn’t even know what the next goal was.
This year has been a lot: I’ve lost more than 125 pounds. I got out of a long relationship. I turned 30. I got diagnosed with ADHD. I feel like I know who I am more than I ever have.
And still — I’m overwhelmed. And sometimes I’m lonely. Not because I don’t have people. I do. I’m lucky. It’s just that being “social” online almost every day for months is more socializing than I’ve done in a long time, and it drains me in a way that’s hard to explain unless you also live like that.
I worry about being a “bad” friend or family member. But I’m done reshaping myself to be easier to understand. I’m allowed to be tired. I’m allowed to take a break. I can love people deeply and still need space.
I work in national politics every day. It’s heavy. When I clock out, I’m trying to protect whatever peace I can.
January will be 13 years since my dad died by suicide. I don’t say that for sympathy. I’m saying it because this is what “doing okay” looks like for me sometimes: fewer words, less access, more rest—especially this time of year. Keep chasing better days.
Managing mental health while maintaining an active social media presence can be truly challenging, especially when balancing personal growth and external expectations. Many creators, like the author, experience overwhelming notifications that lead to shutdowns—not out of indifference but as a coping mechanism. Achieving milestones such as hitting 10,000 TikTok followers requires considerable time, money, and energy, and it can also bring unexpected feelings of uncertainty about the next steps. Significant life changes like losing over 125 pounds, ending long-term relationships, turning 30, and receiving an ADHD diagnosis contribute deeply to self-awareness and identity evolution. These experiences, although empowering, often come with emotional and mental fatigue. For many, socializing online daily can drain energy more than traditional social environments because it demands constant engagement, which is especially difficult when managing ADHD or emotional recovery. Setting boundaries by allowing oneself to take breaks, accept tiredness, and prioritize rest is crucial for sustainable mental health. It’s important to recognize that deep love for friends and family can coexist with the need for personal space without guilt. Working in demanding fields such as national politics adds an extra layer of stress, making tranquility outside work hours essential. Anniversaries of personal loss, like the 13th year since the author’s father died by suicide, often trigger a retreat inward. This retreat is not about seeking sympathy but about honoring the process of healing, which sometimes involves fewer words and more rest. This compassionate approach to oneself, especially during difficult seasons, encourages an ongoing pursuit of better days and self-acceptance. If you find yourself overwhelmed by social media or life’s demands, consider these reflections as encouragement to be gentle with yourself. Seek support where needed, embrace your unique journey, and remember that doing okay looks different for everyone—sometimes it means stepping back to protect your peace and nurture your growth.
