Over the last 9 months I have healed and found self esteem and self love
You are not crazy, you are not over reacting. you were under reacting honestly. They want to convince you you are the monster they know they are so they can pretend to be the version of you that makes them look good and meanwhile present themselves to the world as the version of you that you lost because of them. You start to believe you are the monster and stay silent for years till you realize otherwise. I hope everyone reading this finds their peace. We can't change them but we can heal ourselves through acts of self love like healing loudly, setting and enforcing boundaries without exception, countering that negative voice of theirs that they groomed into us over the time of the abuse, and putting yourself and your peace first above everything and everyone else. I couldn't help anyone till I started to heal myself. I couldn't heal myself until I had self esteem. I couldn't get self esteem till I loved myself, and I couldn't love myself until I did every act of love I did for others for myself for once. We were right, love is actions not just a feeling. Our abusers never understood that but we did. Now do those actions of love for yourself so you can be your most authentic you.
Healing from emotional abuse is a challenging and deeply personal journey that requires immense courage and patience. Over the months, I learned that the path to self-love begins with acknowledging the reality of the abuse and rejecting the false narratives that abusers plant. It’s common for survivors to internalize blame and feel isolated, but understanding that you are not the 'monster' they portrayed you to be is crucial. One of the most effective steps in healing is ‘healing loudly’—speaking your truth, whether through therapy, journaling, or speaking with trusted friends. This breaks the silence abusers often rely on to maintain control. Setting and enforcing boundaries without exception became my shield and helped protect my peace. It’s essential not only to recognize negative self-talk groomed by others but also to actively counter it with positive affirmations and self-compassion. Self-esteem and self-love are interlinked. For me, self-esteem started to grow only after I consistently practiced the same kindness towards myself that I once reserved for others. Acts of love are tangible—taking care of your body, setting limits, pursuing passions, and allowing yourself to rest. These actions communicate a powerful message to your mind and heart that you are worthy. Importantly, the healing journey isn’t linear. There are setbacks, moments of doubt, and triggers. But every step forward, no matter how small, reinforces your authentic self and helps reclaim your life from the shadows of abuse. Finding peace is possible, and prioritizing your wellbeing above all else is not selfish—it is necessary. If you are on this path, remember you’re not alone. Reach out, reach in, and keep choosing yourself. Your story matters, and healing is your right.
