does time fix everything?? 🤔💭⏰

It's so validating to hear someone else articulate that feeling of "time not being an apology." For so long, I felt like I was broken or "doing it wrong" because the hurt lingered, even as months turned into years. Society often tells us to "just get over it" or "time heals all wounds," as if turning a page on the calendar magically eradicates the pain or the memory of what happened. But as you so powerfully put it, time isn't accountability. It isn't ownership. And it certainly isn't an apology. I’ve realized that time, in itself, is passive. It just flows. For true healing to happen, there needs to be an active process. Sometimes, that process involves a genuine apology and a sincere effort from the other person to acknowledge the harm they caused. When that doesn't happen, it leaves a gaping wound that time alone can't stitch up. It's like having an injury and being told to just wait for it to get better, without any treatment or care. The pain might dull, but the underlying issue remains unaddressed, and sometimes, it does indeed sink in deeper, becoming a chronic ache. This constant expectation that "time passing is an apology" can be incredibly frustrating. It puts the burden entirely on the person who was hurt to simply forget, while the person who caused the pain gets a free pass. It allows them to avoid confronting their actions, assuming you'll eventually "move on" and everything will reset. But how can we truly move on when there's no acknowledgment of the past? How can we laugh again and act normal if the foundation of trust and respect was shattered and never rebuilt? It feels like being asked to build a house on quicksand. So, what do we do when an apology never comes, and accountability is nowhere in sight? It's a tough question, and I've grappled with it for a long time. One thing I've learned is the immense power of validating your own feelings. It's perfectly okay to remember. It's perfectly okay to still feel hurt. You are allowed to expect more than avoidance. Don't let anyone diminish your feelings by telling you to just "forget about it." Your pain is real, and it deserves to be acknowledged, even if you're the only one acknowledging it. Another crucial step is recognizing that your healing journey is *yours*, and it doesn't depend on the other person's actions (or lack thereof). While an apology would certainly help, you can start to find your own form of closure. This might involve setting firm boundaries, both physical and emotional, with the person who hurt you. It might mean focusing intensely on self-care, building up your own strength, and rediscovering what brings you joy. Sometimes, writing letters you never send, talking to a trusted friend, or even seeking professional support can help process those lingering feelings. It's about finding ways to live with the experience, not letting it define you or hold you captive. Ultimately, "moving on" doesn't mean forgetting. It means integrating the experience into your life story, understanding its impact, and choosing to live a full life despite the hurt. It means building resilience and creating new narratives for yourself. It's a journey, not a destination, and it's certainly not a passive waiting game for time to miraculously fix everything. We deserve more than just the passage of time; we deserve healing, and that healing often starts with us, for us.