Would this bother you?

I’ve been talking to this guy every day for six months — super kind, respectful, we’ve even been intimate, and he’s never said anything hurtful. Then he asked how much I weigh. I told him 143 lbs, and his immediate response was: “Really? Damn.” It made my stomach drop. When I asked what he meant, he said he was “just surprised,” not being insulting. I told him it felt disrespectful, and he called me right away to explain he didn’t mean it in a negative way and that I “look great.” I said okay, just don’t talk like that again.

But even after his explanation, I’m still annoyed and can’t shake the comment. It hit a sensitive spot, and now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting or if anyone else would feel the same way about a partner commenting on their weight like that. Would this bother you?

#AskLemon8 #LetsChat #DatingQuestions

2025/12/14 Edited to

... Read moreWhen a partner makes a comment about your weight that feels surprising or hurtful, it’s natural to feel unsettled, even if their intention wasn’t negative. Weight is a deeply personal subject, and remarks—even those meant as surprise or admiration—can touch sensitive spots related to self-esteem and body image. In relationships, respect and clear communication are key to navigating these moments. Many people find that being asked about their weight or receiving candid reactions without context can feel invasive or disrespectful. Even when a partner reassures you by saying you "look great," the initial reaction might linger, stirring doubts about their true feelings or sensitivity to your insecurities. It’s important to express how such comments make you feel, as the author did by telling her partner the remark felt disrespectful. A healthy partner should listen attentively and adjust their behavior accordingly to avoid causing unintended discomfort. This fosters trust and emotional safety. Moreover, it’s valuable to consider cultural and personal differences in how topics like weight are discussed. Some find open, direct conversations helpful; others prefer to avoid the topic altogether. Setting boundaries early on about what is acceptable helps prevent misunderstandings. If you’re wondering whether others feel the same way, the answer is often yes. Many individuals experience sensitivity about affirmations or criticisms related to physical appearance. The key takeaway is that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to expect kindness and respect in how your partner communicates. In summary, comments like "Really? Damn." upon hearing your weight, even if not intended to insult, can cause upset and highlight the importance of mindful communication in relationships. By addressing these emotions honestly and asking for respectful dialogue, partners can strengthen their connection and mutual understanding.

6 comments

Dott's images
Dott

I’m tall and 145 is my proper weight - people don’t always realize that a woman, especially a taller one, can weigh over 120 lbs. and not be fat. My husband once told me, I don’t want you under 115 lbs, lol seriously! If so weighed 115 lbs I’d be near death. He didn’t mean anything by that, he’s just really that clueless.

c's images
c

143 is my goal weight😭 what is he bothered about

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