But what if he changes? Divorce guilt.
Divorce is one of those things no marriage wants to go through.
You always hear about how ugly of a monster divorce really is.
But can we talk about the guilt of it?
As a Christian, considering divorce makes me feel guilty.
As a mom considering divorce makes me feel guilty.
When does the guilt end?!
infidelity creeped its way into my marriage.
Not one time, not two times but many times.
I know what you are thinking, “👏🏾 why are you giving this man so 👏🏾many👏🏾 chances 👏🏾to show you he doesn’t care about you? 👏🏾”
But, I fell in love with the potential. And the ones that get it. Get it.
It’s easy to say what you would do in a certain situation until you are actually faced with it.
I remember dating my husband and telling him “one thing I know you would never do to me is cheat on me”
Ohhhh the irony.
How do you push past the guilt?
“Am I making the right choice?”
“What if he really does change this time?”
“What about the kids”
God how do I trust you when I can’t see what’s on the other side.
I wish there was a clear answer on what to do regarding my marriage. I feel like this is such a big decision.
The weight of divorce guilt, especially when infidelity has been a recurring guest in your marriage, is truly immense. The question, 'But what if he changes?' can linger in your mind, a persistent whisper of hope battling the harsh reality you've faced. I know this feeling all too well – the desire for a different outcome, the longing for the person you fell in love with, and the struggle to reconcile that with the pain he’s caused. It’s a natural part of the healing process to confront these 'what ifs.' There's no clear roadmap for untangling years of shared life, especially when children are involved. The thought of starting over, of navigating life as a single parent, or even just imagining a future where you might eventually find love after divorce, can feel utterly overwhelming when you’re still grappling with the present pain. Many of us, myself included, have spent countless nights wrestling with these thoughts, wondering if we’re making the right choice, if we’re strong enough to walk away, or if we’ll ever truly heal from such a profound betrayal. But through this journey, I've learned that 'finding love' after divorce isn't just about a new romantic partner. It’s primarily about rediscovering and reclaiming love for yourself. It’s about finding peace within your own heart, rebuilding your confidence, and nurturing the relationships that truly uplift you. The path to healing involves small, deliberate steps: allowing yourself to grieve, seeking support from trusted friends or a therapist, and slowly, gently, re-engaging with activities that bring you joy. It's about remembering who you were before the pain, and then building an even stronger, more resilient version of that person. For me, that meant focusing on my children, finding solace in my faith, and dedicating time to personal growth that I’d neglected. It wasn't easy, there were days I felt completely lost. But with each step, the fog began to lift. I started to see that my worth wasn't tied to someone else's choices, and my capacity for love – both for myself and potentially for others – was still very much alive. It’s a journey of self-discovery, of learning to trust your intuition again, and understanding that you deserve a future filled with genuine respect and happiness. And yes, eventually, when you're ready, finding love after divorce can mean opening your heart to a new relationship, but only after you’ve found that powerful, unwavering love for yourself.
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