My identity now.
My identity now...
People who are trying to be strong and tired inside.
I used to believe that love is a safe space where we can be fully ourselves, but what we find is obscurity, vague words, actions and feelings, and hopes that are stretched out without answers.
I spent a lot of time trying to understand one person.
Trying to find a reason why he's good today. He's cold tomorrow.
Why do some days look like a lot of love, but some days look like a stranger?
Finally, I found out...
The most confused person is not him.
But as myself.
I started questioning my own worth.
Starting to think I'm not good enough?
Not beautiful enough, not good enough, not interesting enough, or not loving him enough
In fact, sometimes the problem is not that we are not good enough.
But it's where we put our hearts to people who never know how to take care of it.
Toxic relationships don't hurt us with quarrels alone.
But it hurts us with uncertainty.
By giving hope and pulling back.
By making us feel that we have to try harder and harder to get the amount of love we already deserve.
I still have days of thinking a lot these days.
There are still sleepless days.
There are still days that feel worthless.
But one thing has changed...
I started learning to look back at myself.
Start accepting that good love should not make us doubt our values every day.
And those who really love us shouldn't make us feel alone with him in our lives.
My identity now may not be complete.
There are wounds, there is sadness, and there is fear.
But I'm learning to love myself more.
Learning that walking out of a heartbreaking relationship doesn't mean we lose.
Sometimes...
It was to pick yourself up for the first time in a long time.
And that's probably the beginning of the best love.
The love that comes from ourselves
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