If it's too good to be true.......don't commit
One of the narcissist's main goals to seal the deal.
Get you married, pregnant, living together, buying a house and have a financial commitment together etc.. Anything that binds you to them. And makes it harder for you to get out of that relationship. Ideally they would love it if it was impossible for you to get out. (If they could imprison you, they would.)
This is a calculated strategy, not a romantic mistake. For a narcissist, commitment is a containment plan. Every legal tie, every shared asset, and every dependency they engineer becomes another rung in the ladder that keeps you within reach of their control. They move fast in order to shortcut the natural process of getting to know someone fully—love-bombing you into saying “yes” before your instincts have time to register the red flags. Once you’re legally or financially entangled, the cost of leaving skyrockets: logistics, money, social fallout, children, reputations. That’s the point.
They want you obligated, not partnered. Marriage, cohabitation, pregnancy, and joint finances create leverage they can use at will. Late-night apologies become bargaining chips, custody threats become control tactics, and joint accounts become tools for financial manipulation. Even friends and family can be weaponized: the social pressure to “make it work” or “keep the family together” is another layer of containment that plays into their hands.
Because these moves are about power, not partnership, they often come with contradictions—grand promises with no follow-through, emotional intensity that evaporates into neglect, or sudden withdrawing after commitments are made. You may find that the person who vowed forever becomes the person who gaslights you about your concerns, or blames you for the very problems they caused.
Recognizing this pattern early is crucial. Slow down major decisions. Insist on seeing actions, not just hearing vows. Keep finances separate until trust is proven through consistent, respectful behavior over time. Talk to friends or a therapist before making life-altering choices. Documentation, boundaries, and a support network are your protective measures.
Ultimately, true commitment is mutual, accountable, and respectful. If you feel pushed, hurried, or trapped into milestones that primarily benefit the other person, that is not love—it is strategy. Your autonomy is priceless; don’t hand it away to someone whose goal is to bind you for their advantage.
