TRAUMA DUMP SAFE SPACE

#safespace #trauma #traumadump #Lemon8Diary #lemon8challenge

TW: sa and maybe other things Idk but it's a lot

Hi I'm Alyssa and I'm 23. I experienced something that not a lot of people know about because what I went through is a little different and I felt ashamed.

When I was a child, I had a "best friend" named Kyhia. I was in 3rd grade when I met her. I was new to that school and I was a little weird kid, Kyhia was one of the only people that approached me and tried to be friends. For a short time everything was fine. After awhile she would start bossing me around and hitting me if I didn't listen. I remember once a tiny corner of my paper was touching her desk and instead of being polite, she shoved my papers back towards me and hit my hand. I was a small child but she was very tall, she looked like a 5th grader in 3rd grade. I was scared of her, but she was the only person that wanted to be my friend. I later found out nobody else wanted to be my friend because she spread lies about me. My memory is AWFUL but I clearly remember so many situations with her. Once I was walking to the bus with her and she asked me my sexuality. I had no clue what she was talking about then she explained and she mentioned that she was bi and what thaf meant. I told her that I think I am too and she got all excited and asked if I wanted to practice with her. I was a little hesitant because at that point in time I didn't really do anything like that I didn't want to kiss people or anything. She kept trying to convince me and I wasn't attracted to her due to how horribly she treated me but I gave in and I said sure but we have to go very slow. She kissed something and then I kisses it in the same place. I was completely disgusted and uncomfortable, but I continued because I didn't want to upset her. She started coming to my house to hangout and she would go to the backyard and push me against the wall and kiss me even though I begged her not to do it around my family because I was not out and I did not know how they would react (they accepted me). I was incredibly uncomfortable each time and I cried so much about it. She would hit me if I didn't listen and she was also extremely manipulative, she emotional physically and sexually abused me. One day I went to her house. I remember her showing me a closet of swords and explaining her dad collected them. I remember there being a bunk bed and I wanted the top but she didn't care and she made me sleep on the bottom. I was tiny and she was very big I was scared the bed would collapse on me. I remember her sister leaving, she had been watching us but she left us alone on the middle of the night. I remember her crawling into bed with me and I pretended to be asleep because I didn't want to deal with it. She smushed me and started touching me inappropriately. I blocked a lot of it out after that. The next day her dad dropped me off when my parents weren't home so they refused to let me see her again and forbade us being friends. While that helped a lot I still spent time with her at school and she caused a lot of problems. She lied to the principal and them about so many things I got in so much trouble constantly no matter how adamant I was that I did not do the thing, my parents did not believe me.I have ADHD and they believed I was acting up as I did not have a diagnosis yet.

There are sp many other stories involving her but this is already so long. I was and am absolutely traumatized, I have a nightmare about her almost every 2 weeks and I have not seen her since 2015.