Dealing with a narcissistic mother can be emotionally exhausting, especially when she expresses that she "misses you." From my experience and from hearing many stories similar to mine, the truth is often far from what the words imply. A narcissistic mother’s feelings are usually rooted in the need to maintain control rather than genuine affection. It's important to understand that when a narcissistic mother says she misses you, she often misses the influence she had over you when you were vulnerable, not the real connection with who you are today. This manipulation can make you feel guilty for setting boundaries, as you might believe you are harming her by taking distance. However, prioritizing your healing and well-being is essential. Re-engaging with such a parent commonly leads to a painful relapse into old patterns of abuse. On my healing journey, recognizing this dynamic was a turning point. Instead of trying to meet her needs and expectations, I focused on rebuilding my self-worth and understanding that her tears or expressions of loss are frequently about losing control, not losing a genuine relationship. I found that support groups and workshops that teach trauma recovery techniques can be incredibly helpful for coping with these complex emotions. If you’re in a similar situation, be cautious about reopening contact simply because of a sentimental message or guilt. Trust that valuing your peace and growth is the healthiest choice, even if it means distancing yourself from a parent who may never provide the nurturing love you deserve. Healing is a process, but it starts when you shift your focus inward rather than trying to fix or save someone who thrives on manipulation. Remember, your energy is a valuable resource—invest it in your journey to independence and self-healing instead of getting trapped in abusive cycles. Seek resources that help get your body and mind out of survival mode caused by narcissistic abuse. This empowers you to reclaim your life and foster genuine, healthy relationships in the future.