NSGF Life Was a MESS 😫💔. Here’s the SHORTCUT 🚧
<Part 1> The Shortcut I wished someone taught me right from the start...
Promised that I will be helping yall with your NSGF Life~ IT IS NOT EASY BUT I GOTCHU , with a community itll be easier to tide through n u wont feel alone 🫂💓 ( thank u to those who pmed me about your questions and concerns, ill be making more tips to help answer some of those in the future parts!!)
If you want the SHORTCUT answer to surviving as an NSGF... EASY its:
- Communication.
- Effort
- Time.
…but if it were that simple, I wouldn’t have cried over late replies before, or spiralled when he “pulled away” during one of his toughest phases. AND THINKING " is he still the same guy i loved?" 💔💔💔
so ill be going IN DEPTH WITH MY EXPERIENCES!! today ill be focusing on communication because i dont want to overwhelm u guys with my blocks of text but its high yield so do read it because it helped my RS alottt n itll help urs too 😉
❌️WHAT I WAS DOING WRONG 🚩
I told myself I’d be the chill🥶, low-maintenance girlfriend, supporting him through this already physically and mentally tough period 🫠🫠🫠
WELL I WAS NOT CHILL LOL 💀
I would:
✨️ Feel that he loved me less whenever he didnt call me by my bed time
✨️ Overanalyse his texts especially when he has to get off his phone fast and hence type very "coldly" that it may seem "dismissive"
✨️ Pretend I wasn’t upset because i was JUGGLING BTWN being a very understandable considerate gf and MY OWN FEELINGS OF NEGLECT 🥹🥹🥹
✨️have thoughts to distant myself or pull away because love n effort seemed so ONE SIDED FOR A LONG TIME 😭
✨️ feel like im not as important as before when he cant find me on his only book out day because he was tired.... ( n sometimes thinking if he was making excuses 🤔)
💔And the worst part? I started shrinking my own needs because he was “more tired than me.”
I thought I should surpress my feelings and worries in order to be a SUPPORTIVE AND SWEET GF 😇
but no... pls dont do that. its okay to share. n u should.
✅️WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE INSTEAD🥹
Communication isn’t just “tell him how you feel”, or even worse, ranting or complaining to him about HIM 😬😬😬
It’s knowing WHEN to bring things up,
being SPECIFIC instead of accusing.
Instead of:
“Why didnt you call me, did you forget about me?!?.”
I learnt to say:
✅️“Can we have 15 mins to talk tonight? or maybe let me know what time you're free, ill block that time for u if i can.”
❌️DO NOT BLAME HIM if he doesnt call u at exactly the timing he promised (because i blamed him lol) ITS REALLY NOT IN HIS CONTROL... something may pop up randomly.
perhaps, u can ask him the next time he calls what he was busy with the day before..
NOT IN A SARCASTIC WAY, but a concerned way like
✅️" are u v tired in camp? what did u do yesterday, im curious!!"
❌️try not to start a convo with WHY THIS WHY THAT WHY NEVER, guys hate that especially when they r so drained from NS
💓if u start a convo with concern or curiosity, they will feel more supported.
⚠️BONUS BUT V IMPORTANT TIP:
be curious about their NS life if u can, i was initially kinda bored cos i cldnt relate but i saw how much joy and pride my bf had when sharing his small wins in army and it was so cute to see him all happy and proud of himself ☺️☺️
GUYS love to talk about their army life so if u could try to listen, ull have lots of things to talk about with him n even until now 3 years after his army, we are still laughing about his army memories!! n i became v knowlegable in army stuff LOL
okay thanks for reading and i hope this helps, theres alot for me to share but i dont want to bore you guys so ill keep things general...
next up would be EFFORT so stay tuned, ill try my best to post this asap within the next week , do like n follow me in case the algorithm doesnt recommend my nsgf series to yall anymore AND DONT BE AFRAID TO COMMENT OR PM ME , itll be great if we can have a community for each other to share our experiences 🥰
n if u are a guy reading this, feel free to comment what u wished ur gf could have communicated to u or what u would have liked to hear 🤗
💌 Comment “PART 2” if you want me to share:
EFFORT & the one mindset shift that changed everything.
✨ Save this if you’re struggling with NSGF life 🤝
#MyPOV #GirlTalk #RealTalk #nsgf #sg
Part 0 I SURVIVED NS AS AN NSGF... and you can too!! 💓
Part 2 - NSGF Life feels SOOO one sided... till you realise this.
From personal experience, one powerful way to enhance communication with your NS boyfriend is to develop a rhythm that balances patience with honesty. I found it helpful to schedule short, dedicated times to catch up, especially during hectic NS periods. Instead of waiting for responses or feeling neglected over delayed replies, openly sharing your availability and emotional needs without sounding accusatory can make a huge positive difference. It's also important to actively engage with his NS life, even if it feels unfamiliar or boring at first. Showing curiosity about his daily routines, challenges, and victories can stimulate meaningful conversations and deepen your connection. For instance, asking specific, caring questions like "What was the best moment in camp today?" or "How are you coping with the training schedule?" encourages him to open up without adding pressure. Moreover, self-care is vital during this period. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed when emotional needs seem unmet. In my experience, talking to friends or joining communities of other NSGFs helped me feel less isolated and gave me fresh perspectives on handling relationship hurdles during NS. Avoid suppressing your feelings to be the "supportive girlfriend" at all costs. Honest, calm expression of your worries reassures your partner and invites mutual understanding. When disagreements arise, focusing on problem-solving together rather than blaming each other creates a safer emotional space. Lastly, adapt to the unpredictable nature of NS life by embracing flexibility and trust. Unexpected events can disrupt plans but knowing that your support and effort matter more than perfect timing builds a stronger bond. Remember, nurturing a relationship during NS requires not just time but empathy, consistent effort, and open communication.