spiral 10
I know I’ve been on this topic a lot lately, but I truly mean it when I say this: when you take care of yourself, you feel better. It’s not some groundbreaking concept, but when you actually start doing it, even a small boost in confidence can change the entire trajectory of your day-to-day life.
I’ve always struggled with insecurity to some degree. Growing up, kids can be mean. Social media doesn’t exactly help, considering the standards are nearly impossible to reach. And when you add being somewhat in the spotlight because of my husband, there’s this constant, quiet pressure to look a certain way. To fit what people consider “acceptable” beauty.
The truth is, I’m pretty normal. I don’t work out every day. I like a good beer and a burger. I’m not overly done up all the time. I’m just… me. But somewhere along the way, “normal” started to feel like “not enough.” Like I didn’t quite fit.
That’s something I’ve been working really hard to unlearn, which is what brought all of this to the surface in the first place.
Lately, I’ve been focusing more on self-care. Not in a picture-perfect, aesthetic way, but in a real, intentional way. And weirdly enough, it showed up in a place I didn’t expect… packing for a trip.
A few months ago, just pulling out a suitcase would send me into a spiral. My husband never really knew what to do. He’d either sit there and try to comfort me or risk getting snapped at for even looking in my direction while I stood in the closet trying on outfit after outfit.
Most of the time, it ended the same way. Me, sitting on the closet floor, crying, saying I wasn’t going.
But today was different. Completely different.
I walked into my closet, grabbed a few sundresses, tried them on… and I was okay. Not overanalyzing. Not picking myself apart. Just… satisfied.
That might sound small to someone else, but for me, it felt huge.
And maybe this is a little deeper than I usually go, but I don’t think people fully realize how damaging society’s standards have been, especially for women. We can so easily look at someone else and think they look amazing, hype them up without hesitation… but when it comes to ourselves, we’re our own worst critics.
So right now, I’m in an era of trying. Trying to be kinder to myself. Trying to accept what I see without immediately wanting to change it. Trying to believe that who I am, as I am, is enough.
Not perfect. Not finished. Just… trying.
And honestly, that feels like a really good place to start.
Taking care of yourself isn’t just about routines or appearances—it’s about cultivating a mindset that supports your well-being despite external pressures. From my own experience, the hardest part was learning to quiet the critical inner voice that compares you unfavorably to others, especially in the pervasive world of social media where "acceptable" beauty standards are constantly reinforced. What really helped me was shifting my focus from perfection to progress. Instead of trying to fit some ideal mold, I started appreciating the small moments where I felt genuinely comfortable in my skin. Like the time I stood in my closet, not obsessing over every detail, but simply choosing outfits that made me feel good. Those small steps accumulated, creating a foundation of self-compassion. Another key realization was that self-care doesn't have to be a grand gesture or look picture-perfect. For me, it was about being intentional—whether that meant taking a quiet moment for myself, enjoying a beer and burger without guilt, or allowing myself to rest and recharge without pressure to be "on" all the time. The societal standards of beauty are deeply ingrained, and they can harm even those of us who consider ourselves "normal." Recognizing how much these standards affect your self-worth is vital to breaking free. I’ve found that embracing imperfection and accepting that "just trying" is enough, fosters resilience and gradually rebuilds confidence. If you find yourself spiraling into self-doubt, try to catch yourself and remind yourself that your worth isn’t defined by others' expectations. Start with small acts of kindness toward yourself, and over time, these will build into a stronger, more positive self-image. Remember, this journey is personal and unique—there’s no one right way, only your own way to feel enough.
