them: what's ur type?

Hey everyone, I wanted to open up about something I know many of us have faced: that unsettling feeling of being used in a relationship. It's a really tough place to be, and honestly, it can chip away at your self-worth if you let it. I've definitely had moments where I felt like I was giving my all, pouring my heart into someone, only to realize I wasn't getting the same back, or worse, that I was just there for convenience. It's a gut punch, right? Identifying if you're truly feeling used can sometimes be tricky because we often want to believe the best in people. But there are usually some clear signs. For me, it often started with feeling like our interactions were always on their terms. Were they only reaching out when they needed something – a favor, a ride, emotional support, or just someone to fill their time when no one else was around? Did I feel like my needs and feelings were constantly being overlooked or dismissed? If you’re always the one initiating contact, making plans, or making sacrifices, and it’s rarely reciprocated, that’s a huge red flag. Another big one is when they don’t show up for you in the ways you show up for them, whether it’s celebrating your successes or comforting you through tough times. It's like they're happy to take, but hesitant to give. The emotional toll of feeling used is heavy. It can lead to a lot of self-doubt, making you question your value and if you're even worthy of genuine love and respect. You might start to feel drained, anxious, or even resentful. It's a cycle that's hard to break because you keep hoping things will change, or you might even blame yourself for not being "enough." But let me tell you, it's NOT your fault. So, what can you do if you find yourself in this situation? First, acknowledge your feelings. Don't brush them aside. Your feelings are valid. Then, it’s crucial to have an honest conversation. Express how you feel, using "I" statements, like "I feel used when..." instead of "You always make me feel..." This can open a dialogue without immediately putting them on the defensive. Pay close attention to their reaction. Are they genuinely apologetic and willing to change, or do they minimize your feelings or get defensive? Actions speak louder than words, so look for consistent changes, not just empty promises. Setting boundaries is equally important. This means deciding what you are and aren't willing to accept. It might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you're used to always accommodating others, but it's essential for protecting your energy and self-respect. Remember, you teach people how to treat you. And this is where the idea of being "treated the right way" comes in – it’s about mutual respect, effort, and genuine care. When someone is truly *raised right*, they understand the importance of reciprocity and valuing their partner. They won't just take; they’ll give back, support you, and make you feel seen and cherished. Ultimately, if communication and boundaries don't lead to a positive change, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. It's incredibly brave to walk away from something that's not serving you, even if it's painful. Prioritizing your own well-being and happiness is not selfish; it's necessary. You deserve a relationship where you feel cherished, respected, and truly valued, not just used. It took me a while to truly internalize this, but once I did, it changed everything for me. Always remember your worth!