Where is the discipline?

Please tell me I'm not the only one who witnesses this and feels this way. I was on a flight earlier (in first class, no less), and I sat next to a mom and her daughter. The little girl was maybe 5, wearing headphones, and totally tuned out.

When the flight attendant came to take the food order, the mom tried to get her attention. Three times in a row, the child whined loudly, refusing to take the headphones off, ignoring her mother and the flight attendant. The mom just kept trying to reason with her softly.

I sat there feeling the biggest internal cringe and getting seriously frustrated. What ever happened to basic discipline? I'm not talking about harsh punishment, but simple consequences! Why didn't the mom just pull the headphones off and say, ""You need to be polite and answer the attendant. If you whine again, you lose them for the flight""?

Instead, the whining persisted, and the child dictated the terms of the interaction. I feel like this generation is missing the simple lesson that sometimes you just have to listen to your parents and follow rules.

Is this soft, reasoning style of parenting actually effective, or is it just creating more problems for the future?

#AskLemon8 #LetsChat #ParentingFails

2025/12/3 Edited to

... Read moreObserving discipline—or the lack thereof—in public spaces like airplanes often sparks a lot of debate about parenting methods today. The scenario with a young girl refusing to remove her headphones and ignoring a flight attendant highlights a common challenge: when children don't respond to soft reasoning, how should parents intervene? Many experts argue that discipline isn't about harsh punishment but about consistent, clear consequences that teach respect and responsibility. For example, calmly explaining that certain behaviors have immediate consequences, such as temporarily losing privileges, can be effective. This method helps children learn that while their feelings are valid, they must also consider social rules and the feelings of others. In contrast, over-relying on reasoning without enforcing limits can unintentionally empower children to test boundaries, leading to more defiant behaviors. On the flight, the mother's gentle approach, while empathetic, may have failed to communicate clear expectations and consequences. This instance often resonates with parents and caregivers who grapple with balancing empathy and authority. Research in child psychology suggests that a balanced approach—sometimes called 'authoritative parenting'—combines warmth and structure. This style fosters healthy development by providing clear rules with understanding, which can prevent behavioral issues and promote cooperation. Moreover, teaching children the social skills they need to adapt to different environments is crucial. Situations like airplane travel require kids to understand and follow new boundaries. Using quiet moments before or during travel to set expectations can prepare children and reduce conflicts. Ultimately, the story underscores broader concerns about discipline's role in raising respectful, well-adjusted children. It invites reflection on how parenting styles evolve and what strategies can best support both children’s emotional needs and societal expectations. Engaging in these conversations helps parents feel less isolated and more empowered to find effective solutions tailored to their families.

1 comment

Dott's images
Dott

Yes it is! Parents have no idea how to parent.

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