My retrospect on Thanksgiving
I was debating whether or not to post this before Thanksgiving and now I'm kind of kicking myself in the butt that I didn't.
Thanksgiving amongst any major holiday every year for me, is like walking on eggshells. I never know how it's going to be. Will my mom and I get into it? Will I end up crying as I always do? This year it was a bit different.
Four days leading up to Thanksgiving, we got into a huge argument. Lots of things were said on both sides. Lots of hurtful things. I was more frustrated than anything else, so for once I actually ignored her for four days leading up to the holiday and she must have been over it too because she did the same. But because of that, we didn't end up coordinating for Thanksgiving at all. So on Thanksgiving there was a shortage of certain sides like mac & cheese but it was what it was. We didn't have anyone to blame but ourselves for being stubborn and not being able to work stuff out without arguing.
Thanksgiving ended up being nice, despite all that. Which was honestly a huge relief for me. She woke up early and did all the cooking. I wanted to offer help, but I really just couldn't risk pissing her off. So I stayed in my lane and just watched the Macy's parade with Simba (my dog). It honestly was better that way, letting her be in her zone with no one overwhelming her. Then once my sisters had woken up, we ended up watching Nicktoon Thanksgiving episodes from my childhood. It was nice and a tradition that I started when they were born. We ate and after dinner had dessert. I had bought a German chocolate cake and it was the sweetest yet most delicious chocolate cake that we've had in a while. We ended the night by watching the Charlie brown Thanksgiving movie, movie? I don't know what to call it. No arguing or anything. Which was nice.
Here's the part of this post that I wish I had written beforehand. After speaking to someone who I see as a somewhat friend. I realized that Thanksgiving isn't just a "walking on eggshells," moment for me but for others too. I guess it's hard for me to think about it from someone else's perspective sometimes, but not everyone comes from nice families the way I thought they did. She went on to tell me how ever since her grandparents passed, Thanksgiving has become relatively quiet in her family. No one gives grace, no one talks about what they're thankful for, no one talks just eats. Which makes it feel less like a holiday and more like a boring family dinner. I wish I could say something positive like "maybe do this and it'll help fix all and any family problems," but family problems take time to heal. So what I will say is this instead...
If you didn't have that "picture perfect Thanksgiving," it's okay. If you don't have that warm & loving family on it or on any other major holiday, don't beat yourself up for it. Don't beat yourself up for things that are out of your control. If you have a family that you can't see on Thanksgiving because you simply are not on good terms with them, don't let that be a reason not to celebrate if you want to. If my mom and I had continued to not talk, I was honestly considering going to a restaurant that I could find open and celebrating by myself. I had been invited by friends to come over, but my idea sounded better to me instead. Despite all that, I hope you the reader had a great Thanksgiving holiday and if you didn't, remember that it's okay. Learn to be happy on holidays whether you're alone or with family or with friends instead.
Thanksgiving is often portrayed as a joyful time to gather with family and friends, but the reality can be quite different for many. The idea of a "picture perfect Thanksgiving" is more of a myth than a standard, and accepting this truth can help ease the pressure that many feel during the holiday season. Family dynamics, like those described in the reflection, often involve moments of tension and misunderstanding. Arguments and unresolved conflicts aren’t uncommon, yet they don’t have to define the entire experience. Sometimes, giving space and allowing emotions to settle, like the author did by ignoring the tension before Thanksgiving, can inadvertently lead to a calmer holiday. It’s also important to recognize that every family is unique. While some families may have traditions filled with gratitude and warmth, others might experience quieter, less celebratory holidays following loss or change. This divergence reminds us that the meaning of Thanksgiving can be personal and fluid. If you find yourself struggling with family relationships, consider creating new traditions or celebrating in ways that feel meaningful to you—even if that means enjoying the day alone or with friends. Whether it’s watching childhood shows, as the author did with Nicktoon Thanksgiving episodes, or indulging in a favorite dessert like German chocolate cake, small personal joys can transform the day. The phrase from the OCR image, "The picture perfect Thanksgiving doesn't exist, and that's okay," perfectly captures the essence of accepting imperfections. This mindset encourages patience and self-compassion, helping individuals focus on healing and appreciating moments of peace rather than forcing an ideal. Ultimately, Thanksgiving is about gratitude in all its forms. It’s about finding strength in vulnerability, recognizing that healing takes time, and learning to cherish whatever warmth and happiness you can create—even when things aren’t perfect. This perspective can help transform the holiday from a source of stress into an opportunity for personal growth and genuine connection.
