I’m not ‘high maintenance.’

It’s funny how often the term 'high maintenance' gets thrown around, isn’t it? For so long, I associated it with a negative stereotype – someone overly demanding, materialistic, or just plain difficult. But as I’ve grown, especially navigating passions like the automotive world, I’ve come to realize that the meaning of 'high maintenance' is often misunderstood, or worse, weaponized. I can't count the number of times I've walked into a garage or a car meet, feeling excited to talk about engines and mods, only to be met with skeptical looks or dismissive comments. If I dared to ask for clarification, or insisted that my car be handled with a certain level of care, suddenly I was 'high maintenance.' But for me, and I believe for many of us, 'I'm not high maintenance. I'm appropriately demanding of respect.' There's a difference. This distinction is absolutely crucial, and it’s something I wish someone had told me years ago. Being 'appropriately demanding of respect' means knowing your worth and setting clear boundaries. It's not about being difficult for the sake of it; it's about ensuring your time, expertise, and emotional energy are valued. For instance, in the car community, it means not tolerating condescending explanations just because I'm a woman. It means expecting the same level of professional service for my vehicle as any man would. It means speaking up if I feel unheard or dismissed. This isn't being 'high maintenance'; it's simply having high standards for how I am treated and how my passion is approached. Think about it: when you invest your heart and soul, and often a significant amount of money, into a hobby like cars, why wouldn't you demand excellence and respect? When we allow ourselves to be treated with less than we deserve, we not only shortchange ourselves but also subtly reinforce the idea that our contributions or preferences are less valid. This applies beyond cars too – in friendships, relationships, and professional settings. Learning to articulate your needs and stand firm on your boundaries is a superpower. The real 'high maintenance' behavior, in my opinion, stems from insecurity or a genuine lack of consideration for others. It’s making unreasonable demands without contribution, or expecting constant attention without reciprocity. But when you’re passionate, knowledgeable, and dedicated, and you simply expect others to meet you at that same level of respect and effort, that’s not high maintenance. That’s self-respect. That’s knowing your value. So, if you’ve ever been tagged with that label, take a moment to reflect. Are you genuinely being difficult, or are you just refusing to settle for less than you deserve? Are you setting boundaries that protect your peace and passion? Are you confidently taking up space in a world that might not always make it easy? If so, then embrace it. Redefine 'high maintenance' for yourself. Because in my book, proudly demanding respect is one of the most low-maintenance ways to live a truly fulfilling life.