I HATE MY FAMILY (not clickbait)

Looking back, I probably chose that title based off of my emotion at the time but I do want genuine advice (don’t try me in the comments cs i’m just venting but i can clap back just as good) 😂🫶🏽.

Some background,, my family consists of my mom and 2 older brothers,, my eldest brother (30) lives somewhere else so his not relevant to the irritation. Currently I (20) live w/ my mom and my older brother (28),, both of them never fail to leave me FUMING w/ their antics.

I have a complicated relationship w/ both of them for many reasons but the ones particular to this post are bc of my brother’s stealing habit & my mom doing very little to nothing abt it bc she’s passive ASF & always has been since I was a kid. Bc of this I often advocated for myself since she couldn’t do a good job of it to the point it makes aggressive sometimes bc i get so sick of defending myself alone to this day. She also comes from that generation where the moms protect their sons but will be hard on their daughters. Like she makes all the excuses in the world for my brother but soon as I snap whether it’s provoked or not than I’m “out of line and irrational”. She often tries to gaslight me by telling me that “idk the position she’s in and won’t understand until my son gets here ”🤦🏽‍♀️ (i’m having a boy in august but i will NEVER enable my son almost into his 30’s bc by than his intentionally f’ing up w/ no shame due to knowing that his mother will always enable and make excuses for him). His such a sick a** individual too bc he will literally play victim if you react badly to his stealing & manipulating (like anybody would) and act like he was provoked doing it.

For as long as I can remember,, my brother was always stealing and juss being dishonest in general. He’ll steal from anyone, anywhere at anytime even if he has to go thru desperate measures to do it. He never once cared abt the ppl he hurt, the inconvenience it caused, the chaos he’d create, if he put us in harm’s way, or how much we had to suffer or lose to make up for what he took. He just takes what he pleases & barely ever offers anything to make up for it other than more lies to hurt you further. Outside of always manipulating our mom, he used to also manipulate me just as much bc he always counted on “me loving my big brother and wanting him to be okay nm what”. He just recently got back from jail after 2 years bc of the usual:: stealing. We were on bad terms when he left bc of him stealing 80% of my things even to give to his gf (even if it’s MY underwear bc the 🐕 didn’t own much of her own when he moved her in against our will, had us clean up after them, and even sending HER to steal from us for him but also stealing from the all the neighbors…HOW EMBARRASSING). What made me officially over it was when he lied to me AGAIN & said he wanted to come see my niece (his daughter) and than when he came he didn’t say nothing to her but instead grabbed a trash bag and walked around the house LOOKING for things to take and sell,, one of those being 2 iphones. Before rudely pushing me out the way and left to go wherever he planned on going bc f*ck us right? It’s the fact he PLANNED to do that while my mom went to work bc he knew i would’ve fallen for it. By than,,he hurt and stole from me enough to the point i would ignore his calls, stopped taking him “bettering himself” behind bars srsly cs i knew it wasn’t gonna last long once he got out, sat thru his apologies cs i knew he was never sorry he just knows what to say to make you think he is, etc. Like literally his first phone call once his back in jail to my mom was him crying and saying “Guess I’m back where yall wanted me at💔🥺” (that wasn’t his first time going to jail but it would only be for a few months but he was more emotional from looking at more than a year after ALL THE TIMES). The victim playing…I HATE it cs he lies to himself and genuinely thinks you hurt him when he hurt you.

1st time at 18, I realized that life was sm more peaceful when his behind bars, can’t take nothing and best of all:: YOUR ITEMS ARE SAFE 😩. like it felt like true freedom fr. Because I enjoyed the breath of fresh air I never knew I was missing,, I won’t say that life was wayy better cs his not and wasn’t my only issue but it was way more quiet, way more peaceful and just a million times better w/o him around to ruin it. Even my mom enjoyed the peace of him being gone for awhile but the closer his release date got the more she missed her son and the more she started her enabling shit.

I alr been dreading the day he came home but when my bf died i started dreading it way more. Like at first I was juss “salty” but than when grief and pregnancy hormones were added, I was in a complete state of fear, anxiety and constant depression. I feel like when his behind bars, we’re free. But when his back, it feels like WE’RE the ones in jail. I just planned to be cordial w/ him but that’s it. Only time we argued was when he would start w/ me for being nonchalant to him but most days I don’t have much to say anyway, especially to him. But what do yk?? Slowly but surely he started his bs againnnn 😂. First it started off small like I just notice small things in my room have been searched thru but nothing is missing, or at least nothing big. Than when I asked my mom to hide my purse cs I just paid for dinner that night (when she doesn’t cook it falls on me but if i’m not feeling well i just get takeout) and she left my purse WIDE OPEN in the living room,, I noticed he took my last $20 bill out. What led to me threaten to call the police and walk out the house at 2AM (i was gonna go sleep at my neighbor’s house until my mom begged me not to) was when he stole my pink ipad that i hid FROM HIM under my dog’s bed. He panicked and put it underneath my pillow before telling my mom it’s been there the whole time. Than he switched his story and told her he asked to borrow it and i said no (even if i you did ask and i told you no why tf would you still take it?!). The next day later, my mom asked me to go in the store for her (when her back isn’t bothering her she’s too anxious to go in by herself bc shes never “dressed to go in the store”. i hate ts cs last time she literally let me stand in the hot sun struggling to out a big case of water in the trunk than waited for sb to help me bc she didn’t wanna be seen in her pajamas for 30 seconds in the parking lot) and had to drop him off somewhere along the way. My brother began yelling and demanding that I stay home while my mom takes him where he wanted to go first and come back for me bc “he didn’t feel like dealing w/ me or being in my presence”. As I saw that it’s gonna start an argument I just told her to go & agreed to wait bc it’s not like i wanted to see him anyway.

My mom agreed to TALK TO HIM abt getting help and still has yet to do so. She had one thing to do in exchange for me not calling the police on him but whenever I bring it up she ignores me, diverts the conversation or talks abt her problems. I am at the end of my mom’s enabling and after yesterday’s therapy session my therapist and i agree that it’s best for me to separate myself. What are some ways I can move out quickly enough? I want to be out of here after I have my son in August but I don’t know how I’ll be able to balance school and find another job (i lost my last job due to the inconvenience caused on my end from being pregnant and didn’t bother to look for another cs my bf was helping me out) AND find decent childcare bc I don’t trust my mom to watch him and won’t hold her to the expectation of taking care of a child that i brought in the world ALL while keeping my brother away from my things. What should I do?

They’re just both equally emotional burdens bc I was always required to be SOME type of support for both of them but i stopped being supportive to my brother even if he needs it bc it’s too much going on for me to be there for sb whose just gonna take for me afterwards. I never ask my mom for anything as much as my brothers do but she acts like it’s a chore to have to listen to me when I’m upset,, if I’m saying something she doesn’t like or agree w/ she just sits there in silence watching me break down. If I’m angry and saying something she doesn’t like, she’ll either talk abt the bible, ignore me or talk abt something completely irrelevant. I stopped wanting her support bc she told me last time to “move on and stop b*tching abt the same shii”. My brother knows the reason we don’t talk much is because of his stealing yet still came home and decided to steal more from me (his own sister mind you). It’s not that i was expecting change but I was just hoping he’d give me a break after years of taking from me, emotionally draining me, or intentionally taking advantage of me for his benefit. Like he knew i was pregnant, grieving and unable to go back to work at this time yet still carries on like before. #onlydaughter #friendlyadvice #overit #unfiltered #Lemon8Diary