Tell me something good.
I just figured something out about myself 😂
I need words of affirmation… but apparently I’ve been asking for them in code.
I’ll say, “Tell me something good.”
And in my head, that means:
Tell me something you notice about me.
Tell me how I make you feel.
Tell me something you admire about my mind, my heart, my growth, my character.
Tell me something that lets me know you actually see me.
Meanwhile, they’re like:
“You’re pretty.”
“You’re sexy.”
“You’re a good mom.”
And I’m sitting there like… okay, but tell me SOMETHING. 😭😂
The funny part is, I never actually explain what “tell me something good” means to me. I just expect them to know. 🤦🏾♀️
So maybe part of my growth is learning that people can’t always meet a need I haven’t clearly communicated.
I don’t just want compliments.
I want substance.
I want to know you notice who I am beyond how I look and what I do for everybody else.
Apparently, “tell me something good” has been my little way of asking:
“Tell me you see me.”
In my journey to understand myself better, I’ve realized how important it is to communicate our emotional needs clearly. Just like the phrase 'Tell me something good' that I often use, sometimes we expect others to read between the lines without actually explaining what’s in our hearts. I’ve learned that this indirect way of asking for affirmation can leave both parties feeling frustrated. Words of affirmation are crucial for emotional well-being, but they need to be specific and sincere to truly resonate. When we ask for something encouraging, we’re really hoping to be acknowledged beyond surface-level compliments. It’s about someone recognizing our growth, our values, and the unique ways we impact their life. I found that when people respond with generic comments, it leaves a gap—a feeling of not really being seen for who we are. From personal experience, having open conversations about what kind of support or validation we need can transform relationships. Instead of expecting others to guess, explaining that you want to be appreciated for your character, your efforts, or your personal journey helps build deeper connections. It’s also a reminder that growth involves learning to ask for what we truly need, rather than hoping others will figure it out on their own. If you ever find yourself saying ‘Tell me something good,’ consider what you really want to hear. Is it recognition of your empathy, your resilience, or how you uplift others? Sharing specific examples or feelings can guide your loved ones to offer meaningful affirmations. This approach nurtures authenticity and strengthens bonds, allowing us all to feel genuinely seen and valued in our relationships.
I love this ... i feel the same way at time i just dont express it at all i feel i shouldnt have to because if someone loves you i feel they should see beyond ❤️ but in your case, I dont think its your lack of communication...i feel like you just haven't met your right match sees beyond looks (if its about someone you migh want a relationship with) (or if its just friends and family sometimes they cant see beyond because no one saw beyond look and compliments basically thats all they know).. seems like people are only "seeing" things that are superficial compared to what your expectations are which are obviously "deep" ... a person who truly loves you, who sees looks and what you do as a mom, but MORE (beyond looks) & will understand that "tell me something good" phrase without you explaining it.