If being single is a choice, wouldn’t even exist

The question, 'Are you single by choice?' used to haunt me. It felt like a judgment, a challenge to explain my current relationship status. For the longest time, I struggled with the idea, feeling like there was something inherently wrong if I wasn't actively pursuing a partnership. But as I've grown, especially during this period of intense self-discovery, I've come to understand that 'being single by choice' isn't always a deliberate decision to not be with someone. Sometimes, it's a profound choice to prioritize myself – my growth, my peace, my dreams. There are days, many days, when my phone isn't dry from tears – from moments of loneliness, frustration, or simply acknowledging the raw emotions that come with navigating life solo. I promise, I have my days where I question everything. It's not always sunshine and rainbows; sometimes it's really tough. But amidst those moments, there are also incredible breakthroughs, pockets of pure joy, and a deep sense of peace that comes from truly knowing who I am, independent of external validation. It’s like clearing out the noise to hear my own voice for the first time. I remember one afternoon, feeling particularly overwhelmed and needing a moment to just *be*. I found myself by an old wooden fence, partially hidden by the lush green foliage that almost swallowed me whole. I pulled my curly hair forward, letting it shield my face for a moment, just to feel hidden and unobserved. I was in my comfort clothes – a well-worn yellow t-shirt with 'LBP' faded on it, some comfy patterned shorts, and my go-to white socks paired with bright pink clogs. In that quiet space, I let myself feel everything. The weight of expectations, the quiet whispers of doubt. And then, almost instinctively, I threw up my hands, making those 'rock-on' gestures. It wasn't for anyone else; it was a silent, defiant cheer for myself, acknowledging both my vulnerability and my inner strength. A declaration that I was still here, still fighting, still *me*. This journey of choosing myself has involved countless small acts of self-love and deliberate engagement with my inner world. It's about consciously spending time on hobbies that light me up – whether it's diving into a new book, exploring a new hiking trail, taking an art class, or simply exploring new cafes with a journal in hand. It’s about learning to genuinely enjoy my own company, to truly listen to my inner voice, and to trust my instincts over societal pressures. It’s about setting healthy boundaries in all my relationships, understanding my own needs, and not compromising on my values just to fit someone else’s idea of a perfect life. This period has taught me the importance of being my own best friend and advocate. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned is that self-discovery isn't a destination; it's an ongoing, beautiful, and sometimes messy process. It’s about embracing the ebb and flow, the 'having my days' where things feel tough and uncertain, and the days where I feel utterly empowered and radiant. It’s about building a life that feels authentic and fulfilling, even if it doesn't always look like what society expects. If you're on a similar path, I encourage you to lean into those moments of introspection. What does 'choice' truly mean to you in your single life? How can you intentionally nurture your own growth and happiness, independent of relationship status? Your single journey can be a powerful period of profound self-love and discovery, making you stronger, more resilient, and more whole for whatever comes next. Remember, choosing yourself is always a valid and beautiful choice, and it's okay for that choice to evolve.