Reflections
Had a lot of time to myself these days as I'm on leave and one of the persistent entanglement in my head is feeling lost. I always admire people who have found their passion(s) and are actively pursuing them. There's so many things in the world, how do they even know this is something they want to do for life? How do they know they like this the most?
Since young, I don't carry any strong feeling towards anything. I don't idolise any band, book series, or celebrity... I have friends who would bend over backwards to attend a concert, be very passionate about certain topics, etc. I, at the most, just know oh I dont like this, I like this, but I dont go out of my way to "get it". I like Bruno Mars but if I die without attending his concert I'm fine.
Growing up in the Singapore education system where the learning path is set in stone - just get good grades in your PSLE, Olevels, Alevels, Uni. Choose a degree that's employable. Take on a CCA you somewhat enjoy, participate in some competitions and do well. Your time is scheduled, plotted and productive.
(Not to say the education system is the sole cause of my lack of direction since some of my friends are passionate about things even as we grow up under the same environment).
But now, I have all the time in the world (aside from my corporate job, which I kind of landed in because it pays alright and is "prestigious") and given the choice to do whatever I want. And suddenly I'm paralysed by what I should do with my time and make it productive (not just monetarily, but spiritually).
Is it easier to just assign me a role in the world (ignoring the pay differences, the societal caste system of what job is deemed good/bad), rather than letting me decide where to go next?
The answer doesnt change the reality. So do I make peace with what I have or try to get out of this rut and how?
Sometimes, the question of whether it's better to have a predefined path or to navigate the open sea of possibilities resonates deeply, especially when feeling lost or uncertain about life’s direction. From my own experience, feeling paralyzed by too many options is common when suddenly freed from structured expectations—whether from school, work, or societal roles. Growing up with a fixed educational route can provide comfort in knowing what’s next but may leave little room for personal passion exploration. When liberated from this structure, the lack of a clearly defined path becomes both a gift and a burden. It’s important to remember that discovering passion is not always an instant or obvious process; rather, it often involves trying different activities, learning new skills, and even embracing discomfort. In such moments, shifting focus from seeking a singular “passion” to cultivating curiosity can help. For example, engaging in small hobbies or taking on volunteering roles might gradually reveal what feels meaningful. It’s also worth acknowledging that passion can evolve over time, and it’s okay to enjoy things without intense devotion—like liking an artist but not necessarily needing to attend every concert. Furthermore, making peace with the present, including a stable job that may not feel fully inspiring, can provide the foundation from which to explore other avenues without undue pressure. Allowing space for reflection, journaling feelings, and setting small, achievable personal goals can make the journey less overwhelming. Ultimately, life’s uncertainty invites us to be compassionate with ourselves. Whether we are assigned a path or must decide our own, the process of self-discovery unfolds uniquely. Embracing that uncertainty as part of the adventure can transform feelings of being lost into opportunities for growth and spiritual fulfillment.
