Workout diary 3: New week
Heres to starting the new week. Strength training has been a very important part of my healing. I invited the opportunity to learn about letting go. For my experiences, letting go wasnt about control for me but a marker in how i live in society. Who has my heart, my soul and my presence. At some point trusting too much and doubting myself became something i didnt learn how to be. But it happened. Trusting those around me more than i trust myself became the largest downfall i have ever experienced. Breaking up with someone can really teach you more about your surroundings and your entire life. I live life differently now without holding on and to be honest this is new to me. Many times i want to go back because of comfortability. My body was hurting not because of illness but because of things it remembers. So i am working on unlocking in order to let because i can choose one not both anymore I also learned through all of this there was only one person who has held me tight all this time was you.
You revealed the truth even though you knew what it would do to me. But it was me who didnt listen. I chose
You kept a reminder that you are still here with me. Even when i was in the dark world
You allowed me to go at my own pace
You comforted me through depression
You helped me beat depression
You showed me the way out
And you are here with me now as i work on every struggle, pain and reliving experience.
One thing you showed me is this…
Where is everyone that i trusted….
this hit hard…
Because the world became silent…
So for every plank i think about what i was holding on to
For every hip opener what pain am im holding on to
For every shoulder exercise what am i fearing
for every ballet session teaches me how to reevaluate with grace and not frustration.
thank you god for everything you have done for me and through scripture is how im learning to live better in society. You are my inner circle of trust❤️
Beginning a healing journey through strength training is more than just physical improvement—it's a deeply transformative emotional process. From personal experience, combining ballet-inspired strength exercises with mindfulness has uniquely helped me reconnect with my body and emotions. Every movement, from planks to hip openers, became a moment to reflect on what I was holding onto emotionally—whether it was past pain, fear, or self-doubt. The discipline of ballet strength training, as outlined in the detailed weekly planner, not only builds physical resilience but also cultivates grace and mental fortitude. Poses like port de bras and controlled leg movements teach patience and balance, reminding me to reevaluate situations with calm instead of frustration. This approach has been crucial in learning to let go of control and rebuild trust in myself rather than relying excessively on others. Importantly, strength training revealed how my body remembers emotional struggles—muscle tightness and discomfort sometimes reflected unresolved feelings or past experiences with trust and vulnerability. Working through these sensations with gentle yet persistent exercise enabled gradual unlocking of both physical and emotional tension. Alongside physical practice, embracing spirituality and scripture helped ground my experience, providing a framework for living better in society and fostering an inner circle of trust. This holistic approach—pairing movement, reflection, and inner faith—offered a comprehensive path to heal from a difficult breakup and feelings of abandonment. For anyone on a similar path, I recommend integrating a structured yet gentle exercise routine that includes strength, mobility, and dance elements. Reflect during each session on the emotions associated with your body’s responses. Over time, this mindful practice can empower you to release old burdens, embrace vulnerability courageously, and build a stronger, more trusting relationship with yourself and your surroundings.
