why i stopped going to the gym…
so there a few things im going to touch on rq that go without saying but sometimes people like to say i make “excuses” so here we go. 1) im autistic. im not defined by my autism BUT i do obviously have symptoms of it 2) i have a social anxiety disorder and i often struggle in places where there are a lot of people. this hasn’t stopped me from doing things i’d like, but it is a reason i don’t do more.
i started working out w weights a few years ago and i genuinely enjoy it. it helps me feel better about myself physically and it also helps with symptoms of my mental illness. i started in part because physical activity was a part of the original treatment plan for my autism, adhd, and anxiety- as i didn’t want to immediately jump to medication (ironic now lol).
over the years, i’ve gone thru hiatuses of inactivity and burnout- but recently they have gotten rlly bad. my social anxiety reared it’s ugly head in an especially awful way at the beginning of the year which is when i was medicated. around that time, my attendance at the gym dwindled as i no longer felt safe in that space. i was going by myself after work late at night, which scared the living hell out of me as a woman. and the environment was really overwhelming. the weights dropping out of nowhere, the stupid ass lunk alarm threatening to go off at any moment, the fact that no matter how i dressed a random man was always starring at me- it all was really just too much. even with noise cancelling headphones there were just some qualities the environment displayed that triggered me to no end.
there is something so scary about being in a facility full of strangers with the possibility of someone possibly approaching you, accidentally touching you, people starring at you, etc., just things that if happened or i noticed would send me into a panic.
a few months ago my sister had the idea of started to go to the gym when her children were in the custody of her ex, as she has wanted to get into lifting but didn’t have anyone to instruct her on how to do stuff. i understood bc i felt the same way until my best friend did the same for me. so we started going 2-3 times a week. and it hit me that as long as i was with a companion, i didn’t have all of the anxiety i usually did.
my bf doesn’t work out and neither does my little sister. but as of late i’ve been bringing them with me and it’s made me very comfortable. my bf will load and unload all of our weights and help us clean our equipment. i also have people to banter with so i don’t feel so alone and exposed. it’s been a really good experience so far and i’m glad they’ve decided to join me. i’m not someone who like to go out and do things on my lonesome. the world is scary and filled with stuff that could hurt me lurking around presumably every corner.
this is all tangential- THE POINT IS! i stopped going to the gym because i was scared and i remembered that sometimes when you’re scared, you can lean a little bit on the people you love. when you feel vulnerable there is always someone else who wants to be vulnerable with you. i’m rlly glad i started going again tho i’ve felt a million times better lol
It's a really common experience to start strong with gym attendance, only to find yourself gradually stopping. Maybe you've asked yourself, "why I stopped going to the gym?" just like I did. For many, the reasons are deeply personal and can feel isolating, but trust me, you're not alone. While my journey involved social anxiety and autism, leading to feelings of being overwhelmed and unsafe, there are so many other valid reasons people hit pause on their fitness routines. Often, the gym environment itself can be a huge deterrent. The clanging weights, the crowded spaces, the feeling of being watched, or even just the sheer intimidation of not knowing how to use equipment can make it incredibly difficult to maintain gym attendance. I know for me, even with noise-canceling headphones, the sensory overload and the fear of judgment were constant struggles. It's not just about physical effort; it's also about finding a space where you feel comfortable and empowered. So, if you're wondering how to get back into it, or how to even start when these feelings are holding you back, here are a few things I've learned that might help: Find Your Tribe (or just one person!): My biggest breakthrough was going with companions. Having someone there, whether it's a friend, partner, or sibling, can drastically reduce anxiety. They can help with equipment, provide moral support, and simply make the experience more enjoyable. If a friend can't come, even a trusted trainer can offer that initial support. Explore Different Gym Environments: Not all gyms are created equal. Some are huge, bustling commercial gyms, while others are smaller, more specialized, or community-focused. Look for places with a more welcoming atmosphere, women-only sections, or dedicated quiet zones. Some people thrive in class-based settings where everyone is doing the same thing, reducing individual scrutiny. Consider Home Workouts: If the gym still feels too daunting, don't underestimate the power of working out at home. There are countless free and subscription-based programs online that require minimal equipment. This allows you to build confidence and strength in a completely safe and private space. You can always transition to a gym later if you feel ready. Focus on What Feels Good: Exercise shouldn't be a punishment. Experiment with different activities until you find something you genuinely enjoy. It could be dancing, hiking, swimming, yoga, or even just brisk walking. The goal is sustainable movement, not forcing yourself into a routine you dread. Start Small and Build Up: The pressure to jump right into intense workouts can be overwhelming. Begin with short sessions, focusing on proper form and enjoying the movement. Gradually increase duration or intensity as your confidence and stamina grow. Remember, consistency beats intensity any day. Prioritize Mental Well-being: For me, exercise is deeply linked to managing my mental health symptoms. If anxiety or other mental health challenges are making gym attendance difficult, it's okay to seek professional support. A therapist or counselor can provide strategies to cope with these feelings, making it easier to engage in physical activity. Ultimately, the journey back to fitness after stopping is about self-compassion and finding what truly works for *you*. Don't let past struggles define your future potential for a healthier, happier you. It's perfectly okay to lean on others, try new approaches, and prioritize your comfort above all else.
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