TW - A student tried to SH in the classroom
I was in my first practicum of college and I was placed on my grade team level which was 5th. I already worked at this school and they try to place you where you work if you’re an instructional assistant.
We had a teacher resign because his class was full of behavior students. I mean they basically tossed every behavioral kid in that room. This teacher got overwhelmed and ended up leaving one day only to never come back. He actually left them profession in the end.
My principal decided to put me in there as a permanent sub since I was in my practicum and working there. He wanted me to “gain experience” and “since I knew more than the others” I was placed in there. Also no instructional assistant wanted to cover that room due to the chaos.
So I’m trying to catch these students up because they knew NOTHING. Turns out this teacher was so overwhelmed he never taught them anything. Had the 5th graders learning how to write their names and stuff instead as if it was Kindergarten.
It was afternoon on a Thursday. We’re doing social studies. My team lead gave me some ideas for them. All of a sudden a student is using scissors, in front of everyone - the whole class, starting to SH.
One student immediately came to me. I took action quickly, pulling the student aside. Asking her what was going on. Just the things they teach you to do. She tells me she does this very often. Shows me her scars. I call the office, I send her down. You know what they do?
They send her back to me. With a band aid on.
I look at her in confusion. At that point, I questioned everything. Was I supposed to call someone else? Did I need to report that? Why didn’t they do more?
The next day she wasn’t in. I figured as much. The following day she’s back. She hugs me tightly, thanks me for caring. Told me she and her parents spoke and she was getting help.
But me? I wasn’t okay after witnessing all of that. My heart felt so broken. I was so anxious. I ended up having a full blown panic attack to the point I instructed a student to go to another classroom and inform the teacher I wasn’t okay. She’s calling the nurse trying to get to me.
The students are crowding me concerned. They’re all apologizing. Some are crying because they knew they weren’t behaving.
I call the office as I can letting them know my chest hurts. I’m not okay. Nurse comes running into the room. My blood pressure was so high, she thought I was going to have a stroke.
They sit me down in the nurses office for a bit. I get worse. My assistant principal rushed me to the hospital where they gave me some anxiety meds to help right away. My whole body had tensed. I couldn’t move. I was basically paralyzed. Worst panic attack ever. I was so tense that I made my body swell and caused some permanent trauma to my shoulder.
I tried to go back. I informed them I wasn’t doing okay. In the end, I came back for awhile. That class was dispersed into others because no one could handle them. And I wasn’t going to try again.
I end up being instructional assistant to many of those kids. We bond. They apologize for being disrespectful. That one girl? She was doing so much better.
Me? I had to end up leaving due to the PTSD it brought me. It was heart breaking. I couldn’t find myself going back to a place that did nothing when I was trying to do everything.
Ask me anything about the whole situation. I’m very open to discussing it now that it’s been over a year since it happened.
Managing a classroom with behavioral challenges, especially when students exhibit self-harm (SH) behaviors, requires not only patience but also a strong support network and clear protocols. Self-harm among students is a critical issue that schools must address with compassion and appropriate mental health resources. Often, self-harm can be a sign of deeper emotional distress, and immediate attention combined with long-term support is essential for these students. In educational settings, the response to a student who begins to self-harm during class should involve rapid assessment and intervention by trained staff, including school counselors, psychologists, and administrators. Simply applying a band-aid and sending the student back to class may neglect the severity of the situation and potentially put the student at further risk. Effective intervention includes notifying parents or guardians, arranging for mental health evaluations, and implementing individualized care plans. Teachers and staff working in classrooms with high behavioral needs must also have access to professional development and support to manage stress and prevent burnout. This story highlights the importance of mental health awareness not only among students but also educators. Experiencing a panic attack and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after witnessing self-harm is a serious issue; schools should provide resources and counseling for staff as well. Moreover, behaviorally challenging classrooms can benefit from distributing students into smaller groups or providing additional classroom aides to ensure a safer and more conducive learning environment. Building trusting relationships with students often leads to improvements in behavior, as demonstrated when the teacher bonded with the children and noted positive changes. If you’re a teacher or school staff member handling similar situations, it’s crucial to advocate for mental health resources and clear protocols for self-harm incidents. Documenting the events, seeking guidance from school mental health professionals, and maintaining open communication with families are also best practices. This ensures that students receive the care they need while protecting the wellbeing of educators. For anyone navigating the emotional toll of working in such environments, seeking support from external counselors or peer support groups can make a significant difference. Remember, the safety and mental health of both students and educators must always be a priority in schools.
this is why i dont work with kids. they can be someone else's problem