I Don’t Know What I’m Doing With My Life Anymore
Recently, everything has been feeling mentally draining.
I've been taking a lot of naps lately, and people keep asking me why I'm sleeping so much or why I don't contact or talk to anyone anymore. Honestly, I don't know either. Everything just feels exhausting, and when I'm tired, I sleep.
I barely eat these days too. Most days I only have one meal, and even then I can't finish it.
I've also been feeling a lot of pressure from my partner's dad. He keeps telling me I should get a job outside. I understand why he's saying it. In Singapore, CPF is important if you ever want to buy a home or pay for one. But the truth is, it's been six years since I last worked outside, and I don't even know if I have the perseverance or passion for anything anymore.
To be honest, I don't really know what my future looks like. I don't have a stable job, and everything feels uncertain.
One of my uncles recently passed away, and attending his funeral brought back memories of my grandmother's funeral. That's something I've never truly healed from. Even now, if I think about her too much, I'll break down. People mentioned her during the funeral, and I couldn't cry then, but writing this now makes me want to.
Right now I'm with my aunt, dad, uncle, and auntie, trying my best to stay present. I'm also trying to reply to my friends, but I'm sorry if I seem distant or quiet lately. I'm carrying a lot on my plate, and I don't really have the energy to be myself.
One of my biggest fears is that if my partner and I ever broke up, I'd end up homeless. I can't afford for that to happen, and that fear sits in the back of my mind all the time.
I don't really know what I'm doing with my life anymore. Sometimes I don't even think I'll live past 50. It's not that I want to rush life, but I don't see myself growing old. I think that's why I've been trying so hard to enjoy the little moments while I still can.
I don't really know where life is taking me right now. I'm just trying my best to get through one day at a time.
Many people go through phases where they feel mentally drained and unsure about their direction in life, much like the feelings expressed here. From my own experience, these periods can often be a sign that it's time to pause and reflect rather than push through blindly. Sleeping more and feeling distant from others isn’t uncommon when your mind is overwhelmed; it’s your body’s way of seeking rest. Eating less or having irregular meals also happens during stressful times, but it’s important to try and keep some routine nutrition for both physical and mental health. The pressure from family about career and financial stability, especially in places like Singapore where CPF is critical, can weigh heavily on one’s mental state. I recall feeling similar expectations and questioning my own perseverance and passions, especially after long breaks from formal employment. It’s okay to feel uncertain about the future—many do—and sometimes the best approach is to focus on small steps, seeking support or professional guidance. Grief from losing loved ones can open old wounds and make everything feel heavier. Attending funerals can trigger emotions that were never fully processed. Allowing yourself to feel and express those emotions instead of bottling them up can gradually help in healing. Fear of instability or losing one’s home after a relationship ends is also a very real concern. Practical planning with trusted people or counseling can sometimes help ease these fears and prepare for contingencies. Trying to enjoy little moments while uncertain about the future is a healthy and human response. I’ve found that journaling my thoughts and connecting with empathetic friends, even if it’s just a little at a time, has been helpful in managing overwhelming emotions. Remember, it’s perfectly okay to take one day at a time and seek meaningful support when needed. Life’s uncertainty can feel daunting, but you are not alone in feeling this way.
hey, i may not know what u're going through but i know feeling this way sucks.. it's admirable that you're able to express your feelings and articulate your thoughts though!❤️ It will get better. I just wanted you to know that no struggle is too small to reach out for support. I'm sure professionals will be able to provide the help you need!!💪🏼