Steps to Begin Healing Core Wounds

Have you ever wondered what those nagging feelings of insecurity or those repetitive patterns in relationships truly are? For a long time, I did. I kept hearing about 'core wounds' or 'luka batin' – deep emotional injuries that often stem from childhood or significant past experiences, shaping how we see ourselves and the world. It’s like carrying an old backpack full of heavy stones, and you don’t even realize you can put it down. My journey began by understanding what these core wounds actually are. They're not just fleeting emotions; they're deeply ingrained beliefs that impact everything. Let me share some common ones, which might sound familiar: Abandonment: This isn't just about someone physically leaving you. For me, it manifested as a constant fear of being alone, leading to people-pleasing or holding onto relationships long past their expiration date. Every perceived slight felt like a confirmation that I wasn't worthy of staying. Rejection: Oh, this one hit hard. I used to see every 'no' or every critical comment as a personal attack, confirming a deep-seated belief that I wasn't good enough. It made me afraid to take risks or even express my true self, just to avoid that painful feeling of being cast aside. Guilt: I carried so much guilt, sometimes for things that weren't even my fault. It was a heavy cloak that made me feel responsible for others' emotions or past mistakes, preventing me from truly living freely and forgiving myself. Shame: This is perhaps the heaviest. Shame tells you that you are fundamentally flawed, broken, or unworthy of love and happiness. It’s the voice that whispers, 'you're bad.' It kept me hiding parts of myself, believing I had to earn my worth instead of simply existing. Ignoring these feelings doesn't make them go away; it often makes them stronger, manifesting as anxiety, depression, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. The good news? Healing is possible, and it starts with awareness, as I learned from my own experience. Simply noticing when these old feelings surface – 'Ah, this is my abandonment wound speaking' – was a game-changer. Journaling about these triggers and emotions became my first step towards self-understanding. Then came self-compassion. This was harder than I thought! My inner critic was loud. But learning to speak kindly to myself, treating myself with the same understanding I'd offer a friend, began to replace harsh judgment with gentle curiosity. It’s about giving yourself permission to feel, without judgment. Setting boundaries and speaking my truth followed naturally. This was revolutionary! Learning to say 'no' without guilt, expressing my needs honestly, and choosing authenticity over trying to please everyone else started to reclaim my power. It showed me that my worth isn't dependent on others' approval. Finally, integrating these practices through inner child meditations and shadow journaling helped me connect with and nurture the wounded parts of myself. It's a continuous journey, not a destination, but taking these steps has transformed my 'luka batin' into wisdom and strength. It truly is about reclaiming your power, one gentle step at a time.