𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐃𝐨 𝟑 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬:

〰️〰️〰️〰️

1. What their instincts tell them to do (flight, fight, eating, play, socializing)

2. What we tell/ask them to do

3. What we allow them to do

We quickly put behaviors like pushing, pulling, not standing still and stepping on our toes down to the horse being disrespectful.

When a horse pushes over you or steps on your feet and drags you along, it might simply be because you didn’t “tell” him what to do instead or because something triggered his flight or fight instinct.

Horses can’t read our minds. Horses aren’t born knowing how to be “respectful” - horses don’t have “morals” the way we do.

A horse doesn’t do things because he wants to test you.

That belief in the equestrian community that horses do things on purpose to “test” us is one of the biggest reasons for punishment and abuse in horse world.

What if …

It’s simply a matter of explaining and letting your horse know what you want him to do?

How often do you “let” your horse do something and get annoyed when in fact you missed to let your horse know what to do or not to do?

How often do you “let” your horse drag you to a nice patch of grass?

And later complain that he constantly tries to pull you to the grass.

How often do you “let” your horse to rush and overtake you when leading?

And later call him dominant because he doesn’t pay attention when leading.

The problem is that we humans tend to be very inconsistent. One time we are tolerant and the next time we decide “now it is enough” and we correct the horse way too strong - because he should know by now, and anyways, he is just testing me again, right?

Well, if you look at it from the horse's perspective, this is quite unfair and confusing.

One moment he is allowed to walk in front, next time he gets punished for it. One time you give in when he drags you to graze, next time you get annoyed about it.

It’s so easy to blame the horse.

When in fact, horses react to what is happening at the very moment in a very honest way - and not to play games, test you or to get out of work.

If we don’t communicate properly our horse will be confused, a confused horse will be tense, a tensed horse will show more unwanted behaviors.

Being a good communicator is our responsibility being the leader in the horse human relationship. Leadership sadly is often misunderstood as having to be firm and showing the horse who is boss.

Leadership is so much more than that.

Getting aware about what and how we communicate via energy, intention and body language is just one important step if we want to create a peaceful relationship with our horses.

And getting aware about what the horse communicates, where his mind is - that's another crucial part.

I have a question for you to ponder about, just to sharpen your awareness about the quality of communication with your horse:

How often do you catch yourself “letting” your horse do something?

How clear are you about communicating to your horse what you want him to do?

3/24 Edited to

When spending time with horses, one of the most enlightening realizations I've had is how critical clear communication truly is. Horses don't intentionally misbehave; rather, their actions stem from natural instincts, learned responses to our cues, and boundaries we've set—sometimes unknowingly inconsistent. From personal experience, I found that many common challenges in horse handling stem from misunderstandings and mixed signals. For example, I once regularly allowed my horse to wander toward a lush patch of grass during walks. Later, I would get frustrated when he pulled insistently toward it. Reflecting on this, I realized I hadn't clearly communicated the limits of that behavior. The horse simply responded to the freedom I had given. Another valuable lesson was recognizing the importance of consistent leadership—not simply being firm or dominant but leading with intention through body language and energy. Horses are incredibly perceptive to subtle cues, and when we fail to maintain consistency, they become confused, stressed, or display unwanted behaviors. I also learned to watch for their flight or fight responses, realizing that sudden pushing or stepping on feet isn't disrespect but can be a natural instinct triggered by uncertainty or fear. Instead of punishing, guiding them patiently and clarifying expectations creates a more harmonious and trusting bond. Ultimately, knowing that horses only do three things—what their instincts guide, what we ask of them, and what we allow them—helps shift our perspective from blame to understanding. This mindset transformation enables us to communicate more effectively, achieve better cooperation, and enjoy a richer, more peaceful horse-human relationship.