What do you think of a penguin dad? 🐧
Recently, I chatted w my wife about the topic of working vs staying home to take care of kid(s).
I immediately said I won’t mind staying at home taking care of kids, I’m only working because we have bills to pay and a family to take care of.
She was slightly surprised, as she found that working is more interesting than being at home to take care of a kid.
I honestly prefer the latter, almost without any hesitation.
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That then got me thinking whether I’m overly not ambitious?? Anyone gets what I meant?
Perhaps the societal norm has influenced me to be thinking the way I do — a guy should be the breadwinner, climbing the corporate ladder to bring the money home.
Yet, I’m honestly not inclined in doing so.
I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder, and I evens wrote a post about it hahaha.
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Money is of course important, it’s for sustenance purposes and that’s the primary reason why I am working.
But given the choice, I won’t want to work. Not to chill, but to in fact invest the time & effort in my family, my kid.
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The thing about corporate job is that it’s a corporate job.
At the end of the day, you are just a number to a company. And a company only cares about profit & losses, regardless how much the culture try to tell you otherwise.
I have been laid off twice, with the 2nd one being particularly bad. I guessed this really shaped the way I see a corporate job.
Why give so much time & effort to an entity that can easily turn its back on you?
When the fact is that there is a little human that requires the most attention from you.
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Perhaps some people think that I am not as driven, I am not ambitious enough.
But I think I am happier in pursuing this path, dedicating my finite time & effort to the people who matter the most.
At the end of the day, my bosses ain’t gonna be the one who would care for me when shit hits the fan.
It would likely be the loved ones who would be with me through thick and thin.
So yes, I’ll keep choosing to be a penguin dad.
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Being a 'penguin dad' is more than just a cute phrase; it’s a meaningful choice that challenges societal norms around work and family roles. In my experience, deciding to stay at home and take care of children is often met with surprise or misunderstanding, especially from those who see ambition solely as climbing the corporate ladder. But from what I've seen and lived, dedicating time to your kids is one of the most rewarding endeavors. The corporate world can be unforgiving and impersonal. Many fathers, like the author, have faced layoffs and job insecurity which only underlines a harsh reality: companies value profit over people. This instability makes the role of a caregiver within the family even more important. Choosing to prioritize family doesn’t mean lack of ambition. It means redefining what ambition truly is — not just financial success, but nurturing growth, emotional well-being, and strong bonds. A penguin dad, much like the penguins who take turns caring for their young, embodies devotion and active presence in the most formative years of a child's life. Moreover, societal expectations often pressure men to be primary breadwinners, but modern family dynamics allow for more flexible roles that suit personal values and circumstances. The emotional rewards and joys of being a hands-on parent can far outweigh the traditional measures of career success. Ultimately, the decision reflects a personal value system: investing energy in relationships and caregiving rather than solely pursuing professional advancement. This path may not be the norm, but it’s a valid and meaningful way to shape a happy, balanced family life. For fathers contemplating this balance, remember that your well-being and your family’s happiness are paramount. Choosing to be present in your child’s life can create irreplaceable memories and lasting bonds that no corporate title can match.
Good sharing and I can empathise with your worldview about career ambitions. Not too crazy myself about the rat race and am fortunate enough to take the less stressful path that's given me an iron ricebowl with a pension to tide me over my twilight years.