MOM HOT TAKE: wait until your kids are teens…
my child is 2. just because she’s a toddler who’s LEARNING, doesn’t mean she’s going to be a horrible teenager? i don’t understand why people you don’t know, always say this. as if i was NEVER a teen myself????? 🙃 here’s my take as a mom of girls:
👧🏽my daughters aren’t a ticking time bomb of hormones waiting to explode, they’re each their own person, not a problem. and she’s a TODDLER. and the other is A BABY.
👧🏽the narrative that teen girls are “nightmares” is lazy, sexist, and outdated. not all of them are “nightmares.” some are actually amazing young women. if you expect your daughter to be a nightmare, you’ll parent her like one, and she’ll meet your low expectations. and as for me, i do NOT parent my child as if she’s going to be a problem. i will never have low expectations.
👧🏽respect builds respect. If you raise a girl being heard, loved, and valued, she won’t suddenly morph into an enemy when she’s 13. and i would know first hand. my mom raised me this very way. what people call “attitude” is usually confidence, boundaries, and independence. translation: the exact things you want in a woman. you teach your daughters to NOT ALWAYS USE IT. as it CAN come across rude. but to use it when they need it the most.
🫶🏽maybe the issue isn’t that teen girls are “difficult.” maybe the issue is that parents and society aren’t comfortable when girls stop being “cute” and start being powerful. “just wait until she’s a teenager” really means “just wait until she stops shrinking herself to make you comfortable.” which my girls will never be raised to do.
It’s frustrating when strangers tell parents to “just wait until your kids are teenagers” as if teen years inevitably lead to difficult behavior. In reality, this phrase often reflects more about societal biases and parental anxieties than about teenagers themselves. Many teen girls are unfairly labeled as "nightmares," but this stereotype overlooks their individuality and potential. Parenting with respect and setting high expectations can positively influence adolescent behavior. Building respect early on is essential. When toddlers and young children feel heard, valued, and loved, they grow into confident, independent teens with strong boundaries rather than secretive or rebellious ones. This foundation prevents misunderstandings about typical adolescent behaviors, reframing “attitude” as necessary confidence and self-assertion rather than disrespect. Additionally, this perspective challenges the sexist, lazy narrative that girls’ biological changes equate to uncontrollable “hormone explosions.” Instead, girls’ teen years should be viewed as a time of empowerment and growth where they stop "shrinking themselves" to fit comfort zones of adults or society. This empowerment leads to their ability to handle complex social and emotional challenges with maturity. Parents who anticipate trouble may inadvertently create it by lowering their expectations and communicating fear or mistrust rather than encouragement. Positive reinforcement and an open dialogue encourage girls to develop into self-assured young women who respect themselves and others. In conclusion, "waiting until your child is a teenager" to see who they really are overlooks the critical years of growth that set the stage for teenage success. Toddlers and babies aren’t ticking time bombs; they are individuals worthy of respect and high expectations right now, which profoundly affects their teen years and beyond. Rejecting outdated stereotypes and embracing respectful, empowering parenting benefits not only girls but society as a whole.
I always thought this was a weird thing to say to parents. Luckily, no one in my personal life has told me this. I feel like each child has their own “difficult” phases of life