Is your strength actually a trap?

As someone who's always identified with being the 'strong one' in my circle, I used to believe that carrying everyone else's burdens was a mark of true strength. This over-functioning, as described, felt like my duty and pride. However, over time, I realized that what I thought was resilience was actually a trap—an exhausting pattern that drained my energy and overshadowed my well-being. One turning point came when I reflected on Lois's insight: 'Your resilience isn't measured by how much you can carry. It's measured by what you're brave enough to put down.' This perspective helped me see that true resilience involves courage—the courage to recognize which responsibilities aren't mine and to release them without guilt. In practical terms, this meant learning to say 'no' when requests overwhelmed me and setting clearer boundaries with family and work. Initially, it was uncomfortable; I feared disappointing others or seeming weak. But gradually, putting the bag down became an empowering act of self-respect. I found more mental space, less stress, and a renewed sense of peace. For Gen X women, social conditioning to be fixers and low-maintenance can make boundary-setting particularly challenging. Yet, embracing this shift can redefine strength—not as endless labor, but as self-care and wise energy management. Remember, resilience is about thriving through balance, not breaking under pressure. If you’re feeling weighed down, I encourage you to identify one thing this week that you can put down. It might be a commitment, a perfectionist standard, or an emotional labor burden. Giving yourself permission to step back isn’t failure; it’s a vital step toward healthier, sustainable strength.