Youngho adulting day 5
Update, I hate him. That’s no surprise. I have to live w/ the fact he doesn’t want to be w/ me and doesn’t want to work it out. Doesn’t want me. And doesn’t want a relationship, career, and future w/ me. I will climb to the top but ofc it’s nicer when someone is w/ u every step and not against , insecure or/and jealous. I’m not saying that’s how he was like but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was one of them. I believe that in the relationship since I was working more ofc bring in more, it made him feel a type of way. Yall ur gonna be so disappointed when I say I would mostly cover for us bc I felt bad since he didn’t have a lot but js time and effort to hang out w/ me I would js cover most things bc I felt that was even enough. But ngl I would bug abt flowers. Which I shouldn’t have in the biggest way bc then it showed me if that’s the only way to show affection or if they’re were other ways he can in his own way but wtv at this point. Literally dealt w/ so much of his shit honestly. He’s not a bad person but honestly js not the greatest partner to begin w/ , meaning I was his first gf…. So teaching him and training him was a lot. It was draining and hurtful at times. On purpose or accident, it still hurt to be dealt w/ . I miss him everyday. I think of him all the time. Ik I still love him but it is not worth it to go back to that person rn. He is not the man for me. Ik one day the right man will come my way, the best man but as of rn im not the best woman either if my man came along. In tried being the best version I can possibly be for him but it wasn’t worth being put all of this. Not saying I’m not grateful or thankful for the experience/ learning lesson but his actions is what truly deteriorated our relationship, I didn’t want to believe it bc I was putting my best so it evens out but no. I’m not trying to put him down by saying he didn’t have this or that and he’s this and that but in my experience w/ him romantically , that is what I got. I still love that man so much. But I hate the places were we are in bc I js wanted to work it out. I cannot stress enough on how I js need to focus on me , to do me and have that bag chase me along w/ an education and career. That’s all I want for myself. A place up to my standard that I can say I got and is sacred. My serenity, my peace , my recharge , my home. It is on the way along w/ my other desires in this world. I js have to be it be.
Navigating the end of a relationship can be incredibly challenging, especially when deep feelings still linger. From my own experiences, I’ve learned that heartbreak is not only about losing someone but also about discovering what we truly need to thrive individually. It’s common to invest in a partner and hope for mutual growth, but sometimes the other person may not be ready or able to reciprocate in the ways we expect. This can lead to feelings of disappointment, confusion, and sadness. In such moments, focusing inward becomes essential. Prioritizing your own goals, education, and career can serve as powerful anchors during emotional turbulence. Not only do they provide purpose and direction, but they also help rebuild self-esteem, which can be shaken after relational struggles. It’s important to remember that becoming your best self isn’t about waiting for the perfect partner but about cultivating your own strength and serenity. I’ve also realized that in relationships, affection can be expressed in many ways beyond traditional gestures like flowers. Understanding your partner's unique love language can help navigate mismatched expectations and prevent misunderstandings. However, if the relationship consistently causes pain or emotional exhaustion, self-care and boundaries must take priority. Creating a personal sanctuary—a space that embodies peace, recharge, and safety—is a powerful step toward healing. This sanctuary can be physical, like a well-kept home, or mental, through meditation and reflection. Achieving this sense of serenity supports emotional recovery and prepares you to welcome healthier relationships in the future. Lastly, growth often comes from gratitude and learning. Even difficult experiences teach resilience and clarity about what we desire in life and love. Embracing these lessons helps transform past hurt into strength, empowering you to move forward with hope and confidence in the journey ahead.
