Youngho day 6
Well it’s been a month since we broke up. I’m still going through all the motions. Last night was the night I finally drank and smoked my emotions. Crying doesn’t feel good letting out bc the sadness js pours outta me. I could have a good day but at the end when I’m alone in bed, I cry and cry til I sleep. I think a lot of the feelings I get from him, the selective ones I keep wanting from him but the thing is in this relationship he did more harm than good unfortunately and that is the truth. I never wanted to believe it bc I always saw the best in him. The potential he had and he’s not a bad person but js wasn’t the right person for me. He did say, “ when everything aligns and is right for us, if I’m not in a relationship and if we still want to work it out we will”… Yea ofc that still gives me up but mf why. U could’ve js said no , I want nothing to do w/ u, move on , and leave me alone. I feel like when I’m told like that I get it. I miss what he gave me in certain aspects but him not entirely. I miss him a lot. But I would question being w/ him everyday tg bc of the shit I endured from him. Even though I endured it, I think it meant I loved him and seen him through his phases. Maybe it was an excuse or something but I still loved him through it all. Aside from that I rlly wanna be set doing my career already. But I still feel hesitant and ugh. Bc it’s gonna take awhile and I don’t rlly don’t debt to pile up but ik it’s my education , have to invest but I don’t want it to take over my whole life once I start making that big girl money .
Going through a breakup can feel like riding a relentless emotional rollercoaster. From personal experience, the nights can be the hardest, when silence fills the room and emotions become overwhelming. It's common to cycle through sadness, anger, and nostalgia, especially when parts of the relationship held meaningful moments despite overall harm. One thing I've learned is that healing doesn’t follow a linear path. Some days feel manageable; others, like the author’s nights alone, can bring unexpected waves of grief. Allowing yourself to fully experience these emotions—whether through crying, speaking with friends, or embracing creative outlets—can be vital steps toward recovery. Acknowledging the complexity of feelings is also important. Missing the good aspects of someone doesn’t negate the reality of unhealthy parts. Recognizing when a relationship does more harm than good brings clarity, even if it’s painful. This awareness can empower decisions that prioritize personal well-being. On another note, pursuing career goals post-breakup might feel daunting, especially if it requires significant investment and time. It’s natural to hesitate when faced with uncertainties like incurring debt or balancing ambitions with emotional recovery. Setting small, attainable milestones can help reduce overwhelm, keeping the bigger vision in sight while managing day-to-day stress. Lastly, remember that self-love and patience pave the way for both emotional healing and professional success. It’s okay to feel vulnerable while planning a brighter future. The journey from heartbreak toward self-fulfillment involves embracing change, learning from past relationships, and gradually building the life you envision.
