The hardest part
I've been going through a situation lately where I just don't know how to feel about it. There's someone from my past that I just feel like I've out grown in a way, but maybe it's not just that, maybe it's more. This person was someone I looked up to a bit, but the older we get, the more I begin to realize that maybe they aren't who I thought they were.
I come from a broken home. So when I consider people to be my friend, they become more than that to me. They become family. I can't do a lot for people because of the lifestyle that I have, but I always try to be that friend that you can go to when you need a shoulder to cry on. With this person from my past, I have been there for them through a lot but I can't say that they have done the same for me.
I feel like they only see me as a friend to be around when their other friends are busy or something. I also feel like they only see me as a friend when it's convenient for them. Which makes me feel less than.
I tried for the longest time to make excuses for them treating me this way, but I think I've reached my limit. I noticed I've become distant with this person, limiting how much I'm around them and what personal info of mine I share with them. At the same time, they are making poor decisions in their life that also makes me not want to be around them. I feel bad but I don't want to be their last resort. That person they turn to when they have no one else. So I think I will just continue to slowly distance myself until they confront me about it or the friendship ends completely.
From my own experience, slowly distancing yourself from someone who only values your friendship when it's convenient can be incredibly difficult, especially when that person once held a special place in your life. It’s important to recognize that outgrowing a friendship doesn’t mean you are failing, but rather that you are evolving as a person. In situations where you’ve given your emotional support but haven’t received the same in return, it’s natural to feel hurt and undervalued. I’ve found that setting boundaries—like limiting how much personal information you share and how often you engage—can protect your well-being while you assess the relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to sever ties abruptly; gradual distancing allows space for reflection and potential reconciliation if both parties are willing. Many times, friendships evolve or fade as we grow and make different life choices. Sometimes, distancing is also a way to avoid negative influences, especially when the other person is making poor decisions that affect their behavior and your connection. It’s okay to prioritize your mental health and peace over maintaining a relationship that no longer serves you. Remember, feeling like a last resort friend can deeply affect your self-worth. Surround yourself with people who value and uplift you consistently. True friendship feels reciprocal and supportive, like family you choose. Though detaching emotionally is painful, it opens the door for healthier relationships and personal growth in the long run. Embrace the change as a step toward discovering who truly deserves to be part of your journey.
