Being in a relationship with someone who is married, especially in an open relationship, can bring unique emotional challenges. From my own experience and many shared stories, feeling visible and valued within social settings is incredibly important. When you spend a lot of time around a couple who openly express their affection—holding hands, subtle touches, or sitting close—it naturally highlights the gaps when such gestures are withheld from you. It's understandable to want equal affection in group settings, particularly when you're part of that social circle. This feeling of being sidelined can impact self-esteem and emotional wellbeing. However, balancing respect for others' boundaries—like the wife's concern for the children's understanding—and your own emotional needs is complex. Open communication is vital. Expressing your feelings about feeling isolated without demanding changes that might upset the family dynamic can open a path toward compromise. For instance, small gestures like occasional hand-holding or subtle touches when together could help close the emotional distance without causing confusion. It's helpful to consider why the wife insists on certain boundaries; usually, protecting children from adult relationship complexities is a top priority. Seeking support from friends or communities familiar with polyamory or open relationships might also provide additional perspectives and coping strategies. In short, your feelings are valid, and wanting equal affection is a natural desire. Navigating this requires patience, empathy, and ongoing honest dialogue with both your boyfriend and his wife to find a balance that honors everyone's needs and preserves the unique relationship you share.