Visiting dad through bars.

Saw the news of the Bangkok special prison..

And then I thought of my childhood.

It's been 40 years since I remembered it.

I was guilty of 20 years in prison.

We visited my father through bars for years.

The eight-year-old didn't feel much that day.

Just glad every time I see you.

Even having to pass through bars

For almost three years, my father was seriously ill.

Must be treated in the prison hospital.

Mother tried to make a request to visit

But it's very difficult to get permission.

Until one day I was allowed to visit the hospital.

He probably allowed it because he ordered goodbye.. but we don't know.

Only glad to visit the father, according to the child

That day, the picture we saw...

From a fat, kind, emotional, funny father.

Become old, black, thin, dry with bones.

Sad eyes, crooked mouth, lying in bed, couldn't sit up and sit down.

Try to smile, say hello, talk to you like a good-tempered person, act normal, but talk and...

Use a weak hand to wipe away uncontrollable saliva.

We saw Dad crying.

Mom called us to feed Dad.

But the 11-year-old that day kept crying and shaking his head.

Until... Ah, get us out of the patient's room.

Because we cried so hard, and he started crying.

I heard my father coming... before I walked out of the room saying

"Mother doesn't have to order children.. children don't want to do it, don't force it."

This time we cried even harder.. but walked out of the room.

That was the last and last sight of my father.

Because when coming out for a moment, the time is over

We just looked at him through the mirror and cried.

Didn't even go in and say goodbye.

Come home.. feel guilty for doing that for many days

I thought if I visited again, I'd feed you.

And I'm sorry I didn't mind that day, but I'm sorry.

I'll tell you how much I love you. I'll hold you tight.

Tell me not to worry. I'll study hard. Go back.

Come to visit again.. love dad

Turns out a few days later,

We answered the phone calls at home ourselves.

I'm leaving.

To this day still blame myself that

If we're gonna hug you that day, say you love me, feed me.

I might have lived longer with your encouragement.

I don't have to leave feeling alone.

At least to know that someone regrets his departure.

Today, when distressed, tell my father through the sky that

"See you later one day, Dad. Come and pick you up at the end of the tunnel.

Give you a hug and an apology. Say how much you love and miss.

But let's raise a child to grow up, protect, keep telling him to be a warm child

Not lacking love like me first so he can have a strong heart.

Live better than me. Wait, Dad. I'm really tired today.

But be patient for you soon, Dad. We'll meet.

* * This life.. may not be a good child, but a good mother.. ❤️

# Love dad # miss # Dad # Prison # Memories