“Have a good break” - Maternity Leave Reflections
I’ll be honest - before being a mom, I used to say “have a good break” whenever one of my colleagues went on maternity leave. I didn’t know any better and from my perspective, they were gone for at least 16 weeks and they were getting a break from work.
However, I recently became a mom and I would like to apologise to every single person I previously said this to.
I’m 6 weeks pp and when one of my well meaning colleagues recently told me to “have a great break”, I got irrationally angry (lol karma is a bitch).
Maternity leave does not feel like a break. Much less a great one. Sure, it’s time off work but it’s not relaxing nor is it time spent on yourself. I’m way more exhausted than I have ever been (which is saying something cause my day job is very demanding), I’m on call 24/7, my longest stretch of sleep in 6 weeks was 4 hours (but am averaging 2 hours) and the mental load is just overwhelming. I’m envious / slightly resentful that my husband gets to go to work in the day instead of being at the mercy of a small child that weighs less than a sack of rice and that he doesn’t need to make plans around a pumping schedule / baby’s feeding time.
My brain feels like it’s not as sharp as it used to be - exhaustion is making everything fuzzy. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to operate at the same level as I used to at work and that worry is something that’s always at the back of my mind.
So no, I’m not having a “good break”. I’m exhausted and anxious. My brain is turning into mush. The only math I’m doing these days are counting wake windows and the amount of milk I’m feeding my child.
To all other moms going through this newborn haze, I see you and it will get better (hopefully).
From my experience, maternity leave is often misunderstood by those who haven't lived it. While work obligations pause, the demands at home multiply exponentially. Caring for a newborn means being constantly available, managing feeding schedules, soothing a tiny human, and coping with extreme fatigue. It's not just physical exhaustion but mental load that weighs heavily. Many new moms might feel isolated, overwhelmed by the unpredictability of the days. It’s common to worry about returning to work, fearing reduced productivity or a change in focus. Personally, I found myself counting every bit of sleep and meal timing, which felt more like a job than a break. The emotional side is just as challenging. There’s joy and love, but also anxiety and sometimes resentment, especially when you see partners or colleagues briefly stepping out into their usual routines. The notion of a 'break' doesn’t capture the reality of this demanding yet rewarding phase. For anyone about to start maternity leave or currently navigating it, know this: it’s okay to find it tough. Prioritize self-care when possible, lean on support systems, and remember that this intense period is temporary. Sharing our real stories helps normalize the challenges and create a community of understanding. "Have a good break" might sound nice, but what we really need is empathy for what moms are truly going through.
