Father’s Day can be an especially challenging time for those who grew up fatherless, particularly for the oldest children who often bear unseen emotional burdens. From personal experience and insights gained through EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, I've learned a powerful truth: it is not our responsibility to fix the trauma caused by absent fathers, even if we feel compelled to apologize or make peace on their behalf. EMDR therapy teaches that while the pain and the urge to say sorry for a father's failure to be present are natural, these feelings stem from deep childhood wounds that need healing and self-compassion, not guilt or self-blame. Many oldest daughters and sons hold themselves accountable in ways that no child should, constantly replaying scenarios where their father didn’t fulfill his role. Understanding this dynamic has helped me and many others begin to separate our self-worth from the incomplete roles our fathers played. Instead of internalizing the absence as a reflection of personal failure, we learn to acknowledge our resilience and worthiness independent of that past. For those dealing with CPTSD related to fatherless behaviour, it is essential to seek supportive therapies that address complex trauma, including EMDR. These therapies can guide us toward reframing painful memories and reducing the compulsive patterns of blame and apology. Healing involves embracing the reality that some wounds aren’t ours to fix but are ours to tend with kindness. Sharing stories like this can provide validation and hope to others walking a similar path. If you recognize these feelings on Father’s Day, remember that you are not alone, and healing is possible by releasing the burden of responsibility that never belonged to you in the first place.