The Rebuilt Series No.5

If you’re coming from a dysfunctional family, a very common exit strategy is to date your way out. Craving normal human connections, especially love and care, is an animal instinct; there shouldn’t be any shame or judgment in pursuing relationships, friendships, or situationships…

But is it actually a way out? Technically speaking, yes, if we choose a partner rationally over emotionally, checking all the boxes on a “healthy relationship 101” list, or if we settle for survival, not genuine happiness or growth. But even then, is our own psychological state healthy enough to support it?

In this piece, I draw on observation, theory, and my own experience to explore:

1️⃣How the broken foundation potentially affects our choice of partners

2️⃣Whether “dating our way out” is a real strategy

3️⃣The price we usually pay in the process

4️⃣The painful loop that keeps pulling us back into dysfunction

5️⃣And finally, I share some practical strategies that helped me start breaking that cycle.

The bottom line: don’t shame yourself for coping with damage you never choose! Full article is available on the site. (Image: Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash)

*What is the Rebuilt Series? Like many adults coming from a dysfunctional family, having gone through an abusive early social group, and/or having survived SA and DV, I’ve heard too much unsolicited advice, judgment, and preaching when seeking support. So much more than understanding. Rather than reassurance, this series shares the vocabulary, strategies, and clarity that I’ve gained over time.

*Note: This content is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice.

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