Avoidants Love Having Crushes

They are called Avoidants for reason. You can either get with a on-off situation or understand that there is no way to make them your perfect partner

2025/10/8 Edited to

... Read moreAvoidant personality types, often known simply as "Avoidants," exhibit distinct patterns in their approach to romantic relationships. One key characteristic is their tendency to enjoy the thrill of having crushes without progressing into deep, committed partnerships. This is not due to a lack of feelings but rather a defense mechanism rooted in fear of intimacy or vulnerability. Many Avoidants find comfort in the initial excitement of attraction because it allows them to engage in emotional connection from a safe distance, without the risks and demands of full commitment. The on-again, off-again relationship scenario commonly observed with Avoidants provides a way to maintain emotional control while avoiding the potential pain of rejection or dependence. Understanding this behavior can help partners and individuals navigate interactions with Avoidants more compassionately. It's important to recognize that Avoidants may not be able to fulfill the role of a "perfect partner" as society often defines it, especially regarding emotional availability and consistency. If you identify with having an Avoidant personality or find yourself in a relationship with one, focusing on open communication, patience, and setting realistic expectations can foster healthier dynamics. Encouraging gradual vulnerability without pressure can sometimes lead to stronger, more meaningful connections. Ultimately, appreciating the nuanced emotional landscape of Avoidants helps reduce misunderstandings and enhances relationship experiences, acknowledging that love and attachment manifest uniquely across different personality styles.

1 comment

DreadEmpath's images
DreadEmpath

My Avoidant asked for peace, respect, consistency and love. I gave all and got discarded. She stayed in an abusive relationship for 5 years. I'm alright with not being chaotic. I was her crush too.

Related posts

A sunny hillside covered in green and yellow wildflowers with a dirt path, featuring the title '6 Things Avoidants Say to End Relationships (And What They Really Mean) Part 2'.
A field of yellow wildflowers with text: 'I just need to work on myself.' and its deeper meaning about feeling unsafe with emotional challenge in a relationship.
A large, balanced rock formation on a hill, with text: 'You deserve better.' and its underlying fear of intimacy and inability to meet emotional needs.
6 reason Avoidants end a relationship
We have so much love to give in a seemingly perfect union and we just can’t understand why the our partners won’t take it. Avoidants do not walk away from relationships because of lack of care but more so lack of trust in themselves. #consciousbreakups #relationshipcoach #anxiousattachmen
Megan

Megan

1705 likes

It does if they are an avoidant attachment style
#no emotion #attachment #avoidantattachment #exhaustion
I am that TX girl

I am that TX girl

261 likes

The image shows two people's legs and hands on a crosswalk, with one person wearing black pants and the other white. Overlay text reads 'the avoidant girly's guide to healthy relationships'.
This image, titled 'SELF-REGULATE', lists common avoidant triggers such as partners wanting closeness or unpredictable situations. It also provides 'DOs and DON'Ts' for self-regulation, advising seeking support and expressing needs.
Titled 'COMMUNICATE', this image advises communicating needs early, including having avoidant attachment and needing space. It also suggests telling partners about wounds and triggers to foster understanding and collaboration.
avoidant girly’s guide to healthy relationships
I know that there’s a lot of stigma around avoidant attachment. pop psychology on tiktok and instagram have painted people with avoidant attachment as malicious and evil, and while their actions can cause harm to others, it’s rarely, if at all, intentional. what people with anxious or secure attach
evelyn

evelyn

926 likes

A notebook page titled 'Healing My Attachment Style Starts Here,' with the subtitle 'A Self-Love Journey with The Attachment Theory Workbook,' introducing a series on attachment healing.
A notebook page detailing 'The Avoidant Attachment Style,' noting 'Walls up, heart guarded' and a quote. It includes a journal prompt: 'How do I push people away when I'm afraid of getting hurt?'
A notebook page on 'The Secure Attachment Style,' featuring a padlock icon and text about safety and deserving love. It prompts: 'What would a secure relationship feel like to me? Describe it in detail.'
I’m Not Chasing Love Anymore — I’m Creating Securi
I didn’t realize how deeply my attachment style was shaping my relationships until I found myself repeating the same patterns over and over again. Sometimes I was chasing love… Other times, I was pushing it away. Both came from the same root: I didn’t feel safe. So I decided to sit with mys
Becoming Through Books

Becoming Through Books

164 likes

In LOVE with this book✨🍋
Swipe to the end to find your attachment style! I recommend this book I bought mine on Amazon but I’m sure you can find it other places as well, they have different books for different styles and if you are not sure yours, you can find a quiz online or look up the classifications of each type. I c
Kristin🔆🔍

Kristin🔆🔍

959 likes

The image shows a natural landscape with green hills and yellow flowers under a blue sky. Text overlays ask "How to tell an Avoidant, they're Avoidant" and clarifies it's about attachment styles, urging to read the caption.
Against a backdrop of yellow wildflowers, text advises speaking from experience instead of labeling someone "Avoidant." It provides an example phrase: "Sometimes I feel like there's a wall between us..."
A dirt path through green and yellow foliage frames text advising to use shared language, not psychology jargon. It suggests asking, "I've noticed sometimes when we get close, it seems like you need space... Is that something you've noticed about yourself?"
How To Tell An Avoidant, They’re Avoidant
The number one question! Communicating with Avoidants requires “gentle parenting” techniques. While many of these relationships may not make it. There are also many that are able to adopt healthy communication. **I do not encourage remaining in toxic or abusive relationships which is usuall
Megan

Megan

168 likes

Title image for "The Avoidant Girly's Guide to Healthy Relationships," showing a couple holding hands in a movie theater with popcorn, symbolizing connection and shared experiences. The text is stylized in pink and white.
Text image titled "SELF REGULATE: identify your triggers," listing common avoidant triggers such as partners wanting closeness, unpredictable situations, dependency, and fear of judgment or criticism.
Text image titled "COMMUNICATE: tell them your needs early on," advising to communicate avoidant attachment, need for space with timelines, and internal thoughts to partners, set against a city night view.
avoidant girl’s guide to healthy relationships
I know that there's a lot of stigma around avoidant attachment. pop psychology on tiktok and instagram have painted people with avoidant attachment as malicious and evil, and while their actions can cause harm to others, it's rarely, if at all, intentional. what people with anxious or secur
evelyn

evelyn

257 likes

A person lies on the floor with a cat, next to a window with plants. Overlay text asks, "do you have an ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE? SWIPE," with an arrow indicating to swipe.
A person lies on the floor with a cat. Overlay text lists characteristics of an anxious attachment style, including worrying about relationships, overanalyzing, fear of not being good enough, needing reassurance, constant contact, and codependency.
A person lies on the floor with a cat. Overlay text with checkboxes describes an anxious attachment style, highlighting desires for frequent reassurance, hyper-vigilance, thriving on contact, struggles with boundaries, and strong fear of rejection and abandonment.
find out if you have an anxious attachment style ➡️
there are 4 types of attachment styles (avoidant, anxious, secure, and disorganized) ⤵️ the anxious attachment style may stem from: ☁️ emotional instability from your caretakers ☁️ unpredictability from your caretakers ☁️ having a chronically anxious caregiver ☁️ emotional and/or physical
carley ◡̈

carley ◡̈

129 likes

A woman in a red dress looks back at the camera while walking away from a man on a street at night. The image has text overlayed: '8 signs you may be dating An Avoidant Man.'
A man and woman stand in a gym, with the woman looking at her phone. Text overlayed reads: '#1 He goes ghost when things get too real. He's not overwhelmed, he's avoidant. Stop mistaking his silence for depth.'
A man embraces a woman from behind, both looking at their phones. Text overlayed reads: '#2 He acts allergic to the "what are we?" conversation. If asking where y'all stand makes him panic, he was never standing beside you.'
8 Signs You Might Be Dating an Avoidant Man
He’s not confused. He’s avoidant. And no amount of softness, over-explaining, or holding it down will fix a man who runs from his own emotions. 📖 Start healing the part of you that keeps settling for almost. Becoming Her Before He Comes — link in bio, sis. Drop a 😮‍💨 if this hit you ..
Soft Cut Society

Soft Cut Society

32 likes

The title slide for an article on dating avoidants, showing a person's hand resting on another's leg in a car, with the text "HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY DATE AN AVOIDANT SWIPE."
A person in a black puffer jacket and sunglasses stands against a stone wall, with the text "BE PATIENT" and advice on giving avoidants time and space to open up.
A person takes a mirror selfie in a bathroom, with the text "TRY NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY WHEN THEY NEED SPACE" and an explanation about avoidants handling overwhelm.
how to successfully date an avoidant
I think the most important thing to acknowledge when dating anyone is that it can’t be forced. I hate how much content these days about dating is all about playing games and using tricks and tactics. at the end of the day if it’s not gonna work with someone, you can’t force it. that being said, if
evelyn

evelyn

651 likes

setting boundaries as an anxious girl with an avoidant man
it can be hard!! but here are some tips on how to do it 🤍 #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #relationshipadvice #datingtips #anxietyinrelationships
paige

paige

21 likes

How Anxiety Triggers Avoidants
Ever wonder why they keep pulling away when all you want is closeness? 💔 Here are 5 ways anxious attachment unknowingly activates the avoidant’s defenses. This cycle is painful — but it can be healed. #consciousbreakups #relationshipcoach #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #a
Megan

Megan

153 likes

avoidant attachment 101
attachment styles are a buzz word in social media right now! attachment styles surprisingly go all the way back to when we were babies! Attachment styles are the way primary caregivers interact with infants, which can affect relationships in adulthood. There are 4 attachment styles and the I
rachel

rachel

154 likes

A woman in a car with a man in the background, asking "do you have an AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE?" and prompting to swipe to find out.
A person sitting outdoors, illustrating what avoidant attachment "looks like" with traits such as avoiding intimacy, dismissive behaviors, hyper independence, and difficulty trusting.
A person in an art gallery, listing characteristics of an avoidant attachment style, including difficulty opening up, putting up walls, discomfort with closeness, and fear of rejection.
find out if you have an avoidant attachment style➡️
there are 4 types of attachment styles (avoidant, anxious, secure, and disorganized) but in this post you can explore the avoidant attachment style ⭐️ as with lots of things, our attachment style is linked to our childhood/formative experiences. symptoms of your attachment style can sometimes ov
carley ◡̈

carley ◡̈

55 likes

A woman labeled 'Anxious' and a man labeled 'Avoidant' stand facing each other, connected by a thin red string from their chests, against a misty, split light and dark background.
A woman labeled 'Anxious' and a man labeled 'Avoidant' are connected by a red string. Text overlays their thoughts: 'Anxious: "I keep wondering why you haven't texted me..."' and 'Avoidant: "I keep hoping you won't need too much from me..."'
A woman labeled 'Anxious' and a man labeled 'Avoidant' are connected by a red string. Text overlays their thoughts: 'Anxious: "I don't know how to just let go..."' and 'Avoidant: "I don't know how to stay when everything feels overwhelming..."'
Avoidant vs. Anxious — and the pain no one talks
🤍 One shuts down to feel safe. 🖤 The other clings to feel close. Both end up hurting. Both feel alone. One hides under the umbrella of silence. The other waits in the rain of overthinking. You try to talk — they shut down. You feel invisible — they feel overwhelmed. You just want connection…
Relationship Compass 🧭

Relationship Compass 🧭

530 likes

The image displays the title "How to make the Anxious + Avoidant relationship work" over a dimly lit indoor setting with hands resting on a wooden surface and small decorative lights in the background.
This image presents advice for "anxious" and "avoidant" individuals, overlaid on a night scene of illuminated buildings and a cathedral, likely a European city during a festive season.
The image shows advice for "anxious" and "avoidant" individuals, set against a night view of a bustling Christmas market with a large decorated tree and crowds of people.
How to make the “Anxious & Avoidant” relationship
How to make the “Anxious & Avoidant” relationship work
stephenlevine62

stephenlevine62

1 like

Why your Avoidant Ex won’t fight for you. #noconact #avoidant #avoidantattachment #dissmissiveavoidant #breakup
Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

3 likes

A notebook page titled 'avoidant attachment' outlines its core fear ('I will be too vulnerable'), causes, thoughts, internal feelings, and behaviors. It features a grumpy hedgehog illustration and a reminder that 'Emotions ≠ weak'.
💚Avoidant Attachment💚
Avoidant attachment often gets misunderstood as “emotionally unavailable” or “doesn’t care.” At the core is a fear many people don’t realize they’re carrying: “If I’m vulnerable, I’ll lose myself or get hurt.” What shaped it • Caregivers who were emotionally unavailable or inconsistent •
Jessica Irene

Jessica Irene

78 likes

A person's feet in white sandals and pants walking on a concrete path, with the title 'ATTACHMENT STYLES AND SELF CARE PT 2: AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT' overlaid.
A serene landscape with water and sky, featuring a list of 'Some signs of avoidant attachment' including avoidance, hyper-independence, commitment issues, and discomfort expressing emotions.
An aerial view from an airplane window, displaying 'Self care for those with avoidant attachment' strategies like practicing vulnerability, engaging the nervous system, journaling, and focusing on self-compassion.
Avoidant attachment and self care
Avoidant attachment is one of the three insecure attachment styles. It is often formed in people who had physically/emotionally absent or demanding caregivers, children who often fended for themselves, or who often didn’t have basic needs met. Attachment styles are formed in early childhood but
Brianna

Brianna

30 likes

Unconditional Love Is Toxic
#consciousbreakups #relationshipcoach #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #attachmenttheory
Megan

Megan

53 likes

save this if you love an avoidant 🤍
#avoidant #avoidantattachmentstyle #anxiousattachment #relationships #advice
Lin

Lin

31 likes

Nurturing An Avoidant
#tiktoklive #livehighlights #relationshipcoach #consciousbreakups #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #emotionalintelligence #childhoodtrauma
Megan

Megan

7 likes

The image introduces how codependency affects polarity in love, stating that polarity needs trust and self-respect, which codependency undermines. It features text over an open suitcase with travel documents.
This image defines polarity in love as the dance of masculine and feminine energy, where partners hold their energy for passion and harmony, emphasizing energy balance over gender. Text is over an open suitcase.
The image explains how codependency disrupts polarity by causing abandonment of energy, over-giving, emotional reactivity, and fading attraction due to unbalanced dynamics. Text is over an open suitcase.
How Codependency Affects Polarity in Love
Codependency creates anxious, avoidant, and unbalanced dynamics. It steals attraction, emotional safety, and the spark in relationships. Healing it brings you back to your center — which restores the natural polarity and passion your relationship was built on. Where are you being called to
The Divine Academy

The Divine Academy

7 likes

A field of white daisies with green trees and a blue sky. Text reads: "6 Avoidant Break-Up Lines & What They Truly Mean" with a yellow character and crying emojis.
A field of yellow wildflowers and green foliage. Text reads: "I just need to work on myself." and its true meaning about feeling unsafe and preferring solitude.
Two large rocks balanced on a smaller rock against a blue sky. Text reads: "You deserve better." and its true meaning about fear of intimacy and pushing away.
girl, it’s just his fear made him leave
That sudden end… when everything felt so right? Avoidants don't leave because of you, they leave because they're scared to trust their own heart like these 6 reasons said🫀 You are still whole, still worthy🤍 #ScaredToLove #TrustIssues #YouAreWhole #WorthyOfSecureLove #HeartTal
Lumi💖

Lumi💖

22 likes

The reality of having a long-term Relationship with an Avoidant Ex. #noconact #avoidant #avoidantattachment #dissmissiveavoidant #breakup
Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

0 likes

What to do when the person you’re dating starts to pull away #datingadvice #avoidant #run #redflag #accountability
Sabrina Zohar

Sabrina Zohar

44 likes

Your relationships can only be as deep as the conversations you’re willing to have #innerchildhealing #fearfulavoidantattachment #dismissiveavoidant #EmotionalIntelligence
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

740 likes

Avoidants Don’t Have a Healthy Relationships
#relationshipcoach #consciousbreakups #anxiousattachment #emotionalintelligence #avoidantattachment
Megan

Megan

43 likes

Avoidant attachment
How avoidant attachment shows up in relationships. #attachment #attachmentstyles #relationships
EmbracingJoyTherapy

EmbracingJoyTherapy

26 likes

Why you are having a hard time moving on from your Avoidant Ex. #coachtynell #avoidants #avoidantex #avoidantattachmentstyle #avoidantattachment #avoidant #breakuprecovery #breakupadvice #dismissiveavoidant
Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

0 likes

Fearful Avoidants
#consciousbreakups #relationshipcoach #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #attachmenttheory
Megan

Megan

18 likes

3 signs you’re dating someone emotionally unavailable #relationshipadvice #datingadvice #avoidant #emotionallyunavailaible
Sabrina Zohar

Sabrina Zohar

166 likes

Your Avoidant Ex needs you way more then you need them. #avoidant #avoidantattachment #breakup #noconact #breakupadvice
Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

2 likes

Healing trauma and hair loss
#girlgrowth #lemon8challenge #hairloss #healing I started seeing bigger clumps of hair coming out in the shower and when I brushed, my hair became so much thinner, and I’d constant check for bald spots, noticing more gaps between my hair. 😪 Chronic and severe stress shocks the hair fo
Lulu

Lulu

128 likes

A broken mug with a black, white, and yellow floral pattern lies shattered on a light-colored tiled floor. The text "HOW SHOULD I HEAL HIM..." is overlaid on the image, reflecting the article's theme of healing emotional wounds in a relationship.
My boyfriend has an avoidant attachment style.😮‍💨
Hey guys, I recently found out that my boyfriend is avoidant because he literally never learned how to express emotions. On the surface, he grew up in a “perfect” family. He has successful parents who never fights and always polite. But that’s exactly it, he was never allowed to feel… His paren
erica

erica

218 likes

Asking is not weakness
#clingy #avoidant #relationahips #attachmentstyle #datingadvice
Emi

Emi

46 likes

📖 2025 Must Read on The Science of Love Anxiety
🔍 Why This Book Matters If you overanalyze every text, fear being "too much," or constantly seek reassurance in relationships, Anxiously Attached by Jessica Baum is your wake-up call. With deep psychological insights, real-life case studies, and practical strategies, this book is a game-ch
Noelle

Noelle

32 likes

Avoidants Discard Because of Shame
#Relationship #consciousbreakups #relationshipcoach #childhoodtrauma #healing #attachmenttheory #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #livehighlights
Megan

Megan

15 likes

A smiling woman with glasses sits on a couch, surrounded by plants and framed art. Posters in the background feature 'BLOOM' repeated and 'PSALM 1:3'. A laptop with 'bloomingmoorellc' and a lotus logo is visible, reflecting the article's theme of growth and self-respect.
When Silence Speaks Louder Than Words
Let me say this as a therapist and as a human being silent treatment is not emotional regulation. It’s emotional avoidance dressed up as “I need space.” From a clinical lens, prolonged silence activates anxiety, abandonment wounds, and nervous system dysregulation. From a personal lens?
bloomingmoore

bloomingmoore

8 likes

How to Spot An Avoidant
#relationshipcoach #consciousbreakups #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #eq #emotionalintelligence
Megan

Megan

12 likes

Five things being with an avoidant person taught me
Being with an avoidant person broke me and built me at the same time. I used to think their distance meant I wasn’t enough. Turns out, it was never about my worth. It was about their walls. These 5 lessons cost me a lot of tears, but they gave me my peace back. Swipe for the truths I wis
TheUnveiledTherapist

TheUnveiledTherapist

13 likes

A couple walks away from the camera on a beach with the ocean and wooden posts in the background, illustrating the title "ATTACHMENT STYLE 101 ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT STYLE."
A beach scene with waves crashing on the shore under a cloudy sky, featuring text explaining anxious-avoidant attachment stems from inconsistent caregiving and involves longing for closeness mixed with fear of intimacy.
A coastal landscape with green plants, a sandy cove, and the ocean, overlaid with text describing how anxious-avoidant individuals mix longing for connection with emotional withdrawal, hindering stable relationships.
A Guide to Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style
Attachment style 101: Anxious-avoidant attachment, also known as fearful-avoidant attachment or disorganized attachment, reflects a complex interplay of emotional ambivalence within relationships. Stemming from a history of inconsistent caregiving or traumatic experiences in early life, individuals
Saturn

Saturn

47 likes

A woman plays a white electric guitar on a brightly lit stage at a concert, with purple lights. The text overlay reads, 'YES I'M AUTISTIC & LOVE LOUD SPACES,' reflecting the article's theme of autistic sensory seekers enjoying live music.
A concert scene shows a woman playing guitar on stage, with a crowd holding up phones. Text overlays state, 'CONCERTS ARE MY HAPPY PLACE' and 'SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK THAT EVERY AUTISTIC PERSON HATES LOUD SOUNDS... BUT I'M THE OPPOSITE. I LOVE LIVE MUSIC AND AM A SENSORY SEEKER.'
A musician performs on stage with a guitar, illuminated by stage lights, while audience members record with phones. Text overlays read, 'SOME OTHER LOUD SOUNDS DON'T BOTHER ME' and 'LIKE THE HUM OF A LARGE CROWD, OR THE GENERAL SOUNDS OF A A WATER PARK OR THEME PARK. I STILL BRING EARPLUGS AND OTHER ITEMS TO HELP ME JUST IN CASE.'
Some autistic people like concerts, too
Whenever I tell someone that I love going to concerts, I often get the side eye. The one that says, how can you like loud stuff if you are sensory avoidant? A couple of things: First, having sensory struggles is not a required part of an autism diagnosis. It is an often included one, but not exp
Calypso✨🌻

Calypso✨🌻

18 likes

When Avoidants Appear Angry
Because avoidance have emotional dysregulation, you can experience a number of emotions with avoidance that are not fitting for the occasion… Anger included. #relationshipcoach #consciousbreakups #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #eq #emotionalintelligence #childhoodtrauma #h
Megan

Megan

11 likes

Avoidant Attachment Style
You are seen avoidants. Despite your fears, keep putting yourself in situations to be loved #avoidant #attachmentstyle #avoidantattachment #healingjourney
Jazmine

Jazmine

14 likes

Cover of 'Letting Go Gracefully' by Kailyn Céline, a self-healing guide for releasing attachment and rebuilding self after heartbreak. It features a woman holding a phone and cup, with logos for YouTube, TikTok, and Apple Podcasts.
Cover of 'The Secure Self' by Kailyn Céline, a guide to ending self-sabotage in love and reclaiming emotional safety. The dark background displays logos for YouTube, TikTok, and Apple Podcasts.
Cover of 'The Open Heart Blueprint' by Kailyn Céline, a guide to advocating for needs without pulling away. The brown background displays logos for YouTube, TikTok, and Apple Podcasts.
3 Ebooks for anxious, avoidant & healing hearts ♥️
The Secure Connection Series is a 3-part guide to help you understand your attachment style, regulate your emotions, and finally feel safe in love, friendship, and within yourself. These aren’t storybooks. They’re emotional healing manuals with nervous system tools, NLP reframes, and journal pro
Kailyn Céline

Kailyn Céline

4 likes

When will your Ex start to panic when you go No Contact with them?  #avoidantattachment #breakupcoach #breakups #avoidants #anxiousattachment #breakuprecovery #noconact #breakup #breakupadvice
Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

3 likes

See more