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What is the reason why the impulsive engine does not stop? Frustrating work and the psychology of planning to make more and more

Are you struggling with the feeling of getting frustrated and moving things as if the engine has started? Even if you try to take a deep breath, your brain and body are driven by a strong urge to finish quickly, and people around you tend to think that you are impatient or restless. This article psychologically analyzes the system of difficulty in living, which is a complex intertwined system of impulsiveness, anxiety, and perfectionism, and presents a path to a fundamental solution.

1. The reason why the engine named impulsivity does not stop

Psychology unravels the true nature of impulsiveness

This feeling of being "irritated as if the engine was started" is a phenomenon called "impulsiveness" in psychology. Impulsiveness refers to the tendency to reflexively move what comes to mind into action.

Research in brain science has shown that this impulsive behavior increases when a part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex does not function properly. The intense desire you feel to finish quickly may be a sign when the brain is in some state of anxiety or tension.

The brain in an anxious state feels "I want to change the current situation anyway" to escape from that anxiety. It appears as an action of "hurry up and clean up."

Experts point out that constant irritation can lead to inflammation in all parts of the body, leading to future diseases such as heart disease and cerebrovascular disease.People who are impatient to achieve their goals tend to continue to feel unfulfilled as long as the goal is not achieved, and as a result, they tend to feel less happy.

Contradictory patterns of behavior created by perfectionism.

Perfectionism is often lurking in the background of impulsive behavior. If the ideal of "I want to finish perfectly" and the impulse of "I want to finish quickly" exist at the same time, the result will be "rough finish."

This contradiction is also deeply related to low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem feel that they are not worth it, and they tend to constantly push themselves to fill that void by saying, "I have to work harder" or "I have to do it perfectly."

This strong internal pressure accelerates impatient behavior to eliminate waste, resulting in "sloppy" output and forming a vicious cycle that leads to further self-denial.

When the underlying "anxiety" intensifies, you fall into a restlessness of "not being able to stay still" and a feeling of being constantly chased by something. This "anxiety-driven behavior" is accompanied by physical and mental symptoms such as increased irritation, decreased concentration, and increased fatigue.

2. Mechanism of mind that creates new errands while seeking rest

Self-destructive cycle created by blank phobia

This pattern of wanting to "rest in the finished state," but "finding things to do and making errands again and becoming painful again" is deeply related to the concept of "blank phobia" in psychology.

Blank phobia is a psychological tendency to feel uneasy about having no plans or free time. The root of this psychology is often a strong desire for approval. I unconsciously think that the state of being busy and being constantly chased by something will lead to others evaluating that that person is doing their best and fulfilling.

Conversely, it is driven by the unconscious belief that "I am not worth doing anything." This self-value is excessively dependent on external standards such as evaluation from others and "productivity." This state causes a blur of mind and always creates pressure to drive oneself to "work harder."

This constant activity is also a part of "self-defense" that arises from the emptiness of the mind, the fear of being confronted with the inner self. When you finish the task and enter a state of rest, you are forced to face the feelings of inner anxiety and emptiness that have been masked by the activity so far.

External dependence caused by low self-esteem

Behind the strength of blank phobia and desire for approval, there is a common root of low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem cannot accept themselves as they are positively and try to fill the blank in their hearts with evaluation and a sense of accomplishment.

Whether it is handmade or intangible errands, it is because you are in a state where you can only feel your value by accomplishing something, whether it is a physical product or a conceptual task.

Constantly working to achieve something is a desperate attempt to compensate for the lack of inner worth, and this state accelerates a vicious cycle of increased impulsiveness, fatigue, and irritation.

While seeking "rest," actions that seem to interfere with that rest are only temporary "escapes" from the fear of looking inward. As soon as you finish your errand, you look for the next errand, which is an unconscious avoidance of the confrontation with reality that comes after this temporary escape.

The Truth About Behavior Patterns Inherited from Parents

The Invisible Chain of Intergenerational Transmission

The latest findings in behavioral genetics offer the answer to the question of whether it is inherited or the environment, which is similar to the father. Personality is the result of complex interactions between genetically inherited qualities and the environment and experience in which one was raised.

Studies show that when a person with a genetic predisposition to respond to stress is subjected to intense stress in an unstable home environment during childhood, anxiety and depressive tendencies increase. The similarity to the father is likely the result of genetic tendencies amplified by environmental factors that observe and mimic the father's behavior patterns on a daily basis.

This gives you an important suggestion that your hardship is not an inevitable fate, but something that can be understood and cut off.

The similarities with the father can also be explained in terms of psychological "intergenerational transmission," a phenomenon in which values, habits, behavior patterns, and even trauma are unconsciously passed on from generation to generation.

・ Re-examination of the concept of adult children

It is a very important self-awareness that Adult Children also show calmer than in their 20s. Adult Children (AC) refers to a condition in which mindset quirks and emotional scars that arise from the experience of growing up in a dysfunctional family affect adulthood.

The behavior of constantly trying to get something done may be the result of internalizing the role of a "hero" who tries to solve problems in the family during childhood, or the role of an "enabler" who makes excessive efforts to alleviate problems.

These roles were essential for maintaining the balance of dysfunctional families, but even if the external situation of dysfunction is mitigated, the inner "role" remains uncorrected and may still unconsciously control the behavior even now as an adult.

"The symptoms of AC have calmed down" means that only superficial interpersonal relationships and breakdowns in life have decreased, but the underlying "habit of thinking" and "wound of the heart" still remain, and it is possible that it is an internal engine that drives constant activity.

In Adlerian psychology, children unconsciously imitate their parents in an attempt to gain a dominant position in the family or to gain the power of their parents. They routinely observe the impulsiveness and impatience of their father, which has become unconsciously part of their identity and internalized as a behavior pattern.

4. An Attempt at Lonely Self-Treatment of Dependent Behavior

・ The truth of dependence seen from the self-treatment hypothesis

The state of "dependence on 5L sake and coughing like a chain smoker" experienced in the past can be understood from the viewpoint of psychological "self-treatment hypothesis (Self-MedicationHypothesis)."

This hypothesis believes that dependence on drugs, alcohol, and certain behaviors is not a pursuit of pleasure, but an isolated coping mechanism to alleviate inner mental distress such as anxiety, loneliness, and emptiness.

It shows that your difficulties in life have reached such a severe level that you have to depend on external substances such as alcohol and tobacco as a result of exceeding your own internal coping ability. This is an important perspective for rethinking past addiction behavior as a sign of "SOS."

The relationship between pain and dependence.

According to the self-healing hypothesis, the dependent subjects used tend to match the "type of emotional distress" an individual is feeling.

Alcohol has a sedative and relaxing effect that temporarily relieves anxiety and tension. It is thought that they relied on alcohol to temporarily calm chronic anxiety and the feeling of being constantly chased by something (hyperarousal). However, the effect was temporary, and when they woke up from drunkenness, they fell into a vicious cycle of feeling even stronger anxiety and depression than before, and their dependence deepened.

Nicotine contained in cigarettes is a highly addictive substance. When nicotine runs out, withdrawal symptoms such as strong irritation and restlessness occur, and by supplementing nicotine by smoking, you fall into the illusion that stress has been relieved.

The state of "getting irritated and moving things" was falling into a vicious cycle of just eliminating the stress (withdrawal symptoms) caused by cigarettes with cigarettes.

These dependent behaviors are the result of an attempt to treat inner distress "alone," and are by no means the result of weak willpower or sloppiness. Although we are already out of these dependent behaviors, it is essential to continue to respond to the underlying "difficulty in living" in order to prevent recurrence.

A Practical Approach to Liberation from Difficulty

Salvation called diagnosis name and the road ahead

The cry, "You have to tell me I'm sick or disabled," is a sign that I'm holding the suffering as "self-responsibility" alone. The frustration of not having a diagnosis comes from a desperate desire to release this burden from "my own problem" and to grasp it within an objective framework.

Your symptoms of impulsiveness, anxiety, fatigue, irritability, and perfectionism may not fit into a single diagnosis, but they have a lot in common with concepts like generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), HSP, and adult children.

An integrated understanding of these concepts opens the way to a multifaceted view of one's own state and freedom from the burden of self-responsibility, because the suffering of "uncorrected" is dominated by unconscious thought and behavior patterns that are difficult to "change" alone.

・ Three practical solution approaches

Rather than trying to change this pattern by force, the first step to change is to "understand" it objectively.

In the practice of self-monitoring, you observe the triggers of your actions and the patterns of thoughts and emotions that accompany them by writing them down in a diary. When you are driven by an impulse, by practicing to look at the emotion objectively, you will be able to put a conscious distance between impulsive behavior.

By asking yourself, "Why did I get frustrated?" or "What did I want you to do?," you will practice correcting your "judgment habit" of immediately judging things as "good or bad." For worries, you can reduce unnecessary anxiety by practicing distinguishing between "fact" and "imagination."

When it comes to habituating behavior and rewiring your brain, it s best to consciously wait a few seconds before acting impulsively. When you feel the urge to touch your smartphone, be patient for a minute or two and calmly observe how your emotions change at that time. By habituating intentional pauses in small everyday activities, you can gradually modify your reflexive behavior patterns.

The feeling of having too much to do tends to arise when you have a vague task. By breaking down large errands into small steps and visualizing progress as not started, in progress, or completed, you can reduce the feeling of overwhelm, gain a sense of accomplishment, and increase self-esteem.

For tasks that feel troublesome, set small rewards each time and utilize the reward system of the brain. This allows the brain to relearn so that the work itself feels fun, and it can increase motivation for action from the inside.

If you feel like you can t handle it alone, counseling or consulting a professional is the most effective shortcut to recovery. Establishing a safe relationship with a professional or trusted other can be a restorative experience that rewrites the negative messages internalized in childhood: I m no good, I have to be perfect.

In this safe relationship, you can develop a sense of self-esteem from the inside by verbalizing your feelings and values and practicing accepting yourself as you are.Your "difficulty in living" is a "system" created by multiple factors that are intricately intertwined. The road to change begins with a deep understanding of your inner self and recognizing its patterns.

# impulsiveness Psychology The Perfectionism It's hard to live Self-affirmation

2025/8/26 Edited to

... Read more私自身も以前、衝動的に物事を急いで片付けたくなる衝動に悩まされていました。特に仕事や家事の際に「早く終わらせなければ」という強烈な衝動が襲ってきて、結果的に雑な結果になってしまう悪循環を繰り返していたのです。 この経験から理解したのは、「衝動性のエンジン」が止まらないのは単なる性格の問題ではなく、脳内の前頭前野の働きや心の不安、そして自己肯定感の低さが絡み合った複合的なシステムだということでした。自分自身の内的プレッシャーが、より早く、より完璧にと追い込むことで、精神的にも身体的にも疲れ果ててしまうのです。 私の場合、「空白恐怖症」も強く、作業が終わった瞬間に新しい予定を作っては、その隙間に不安を感じていました。加えて、過去に依存行動にも苦しんだ経験があり、自己治療仮説に示されているように、そうした行動が苦痛からの逃避として機能していたことを後から理解しました。 現在は、セルフモニタリングを日常的に取り入れ、日記に自分の感情や衝動のトリガーを書き留めることで、自分の感情を客観視する練習を続けています。また、衝動に駆られたときはまず深呼吸し、意識的に数秒間待つことを意識するようにしています。こうした小さな習慣化によって、少しずつ衝動的な行動を制御できるようになりました。 さらに、タスクを小さく分割し、達成感を得やすくしたり、面倒に感じることには小さな報酬を設定することで、作業へのモチベーションを高めることも効果的でした。専門家に相談したこともあり、心理的な支えがあることで自己肯定感も徐々に高まっています。 このように、衝動性を止めるためには、自己理解と心理的ケアが不可欠です。衝動に悩む方は無理に自分を責めず、まず自分の行動パターンと感情の根底を観察し、セルフモニタリングや認知の見直しを試みることをおすすめします。専門機関のサポートも大切な一歩です。衝動性の原因を深く探り、理解を深めることで、ゆっくりとでも「イライラするエンジン」を制御し、心穏やかな日々を取り戻せるはずです。

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Three book covers from 'The Summer I Turned Pretty' series by Jenny Han are displayed on a patterned fabric, with text overlay 'The summer I turn pretty Series review' and a 'SWIPE' arrow.
A screen displays text discussing the 'Team Conrad vs Team Jeremiah' debate from 'The Summer I Turned Pretty' trilogy, detailing Conrad Fisher's pros like being deep, introspective, and a 'first love' trope.
The screen continues, listing Conrad Fisher's cons (emotionally closed off, hot-and-cold) and Jeremiah Fisher's pros (easygoing, fun, emotionally available, supportive).
Come with me as chat GPT helps me sort out my #thesummeriturnedpretty emotional trauma books 1 and 2😭😭 #jeremiah fisher #conradfisher #bellyconklin #bookrecommendations
Marisa Bieschke

Marisa Bieschke

28 likes

Come spend the day with me and my impulsive action
Come spend the day with me and my impulsive actions !! #fyp #foryou #fy #motivational #inspirational
𝑩𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒂 ⋆𐙚

𝑩𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒂 ⋆𐙚

427 likes

Stop being scared of your bank account !
Stop being scared to check your bank account! See what damage has been done 😅 Here is weekly check in method you can do so you don’t feel overwhelmed! Why should we check our account? - Brings awareness - Sees where we are under budgeting - Allows us to make adjustments if we fall behin
JaliyahKreation

JaliyahKreation

102 likes

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