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But Something to Gain?

The last few weeks I’ve been feeling hella down.

Really hard on myself and the life I’m living.

While I don’t have any friends,

I’m not doing anything I enjoy either.

So I’ve been thinking.

Like really thinking.

What are the things I enjoy doing?

Writing, singing, performing.

Why haven’t I been doing anything?

I haven’t performed anything since high school.

Because I’m terribly shy honestly.

But now, I’ve got nothing.

I have nothing to lose at all.

There isn’t any harm in trying out something different.

I’m not doing anything anyways!

And I’m not expecting anything to come from it.

I just want to make sure that when I’m 80

I look back on my life and while the first 32 years were spent in a troublesome state.

I used the rest of my time living my life the way I’d like it.

Doing things that make me happy!

Writing my stories (even if they don’t get published!)

Singing and writing songs!

(Mostly so my kids have something else of me when I’m gone)

And if I’m able to perform, then that’s something too!

I just want to live a better life then what I have.

Especially if that means trying to do the things that terrify me.

#embracevulnerability #unfiltered #Lemon8Diary #happyyourehere #mentalhealthmatters

2025/5/13 Edited to

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