3 ways I knew my ex and I wouldn’t last

it’s always normal to have slow period in relationships, but out of 3 years together, 2 of them were spent trying to get back to the way we’re in the first year. we stopped communicating and having fun and spent most of our time just hanging out at home. he also had a lot of problems and I was mostly waiting for him to work on them and change, which can be a really unhealthy thing to do in relationships. we also stopped having sex altogether and after months of trying to get him to be intimate, I just gave up.

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evelyn xoxo

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2024/4/8 Edited to

... Read moreRealizing your relationship isn't going to work out is one of the hardest truths to face. After seeing those three clear signs in my own 3-year journey – the dwindling communication, the constant waiting for change, and the complete lack of intimacy – the next, even tougher step was accepting it was finally time to let go. It’s not just about noticing the red flags, but about having the courage to act on them and prioritize your own well-being. When you've stopped having much to talk about, as I did, it feels like you're sharing a space, but not a life. Conversations become superficial, and the deep connection you once had fades. This isn't just a 'slow period'; it's a profound detachment that can leave you feeling incredibly lonely, even when you're together. If you find yourselves consistently struggling to connect on a deeper level, it's a strong indicator that the emotional intimacy is gone. Then there’s the trap of waiting for someone to change. I spent so much time holding onto hope, believing that if I just waited a little longer, or loved him a little harder, things would revert to how they used to be. But people only change when they genuinely want to, and for themselves. Tying your happiness to someone else’s potential, rather than their present actions, is a recipe for heartbreak and stagnation. It’s a sign that you’re living in a fantasy of what could be, instead of embracing the reality of what is. This realization was a huge turning point for me in deciding it was finally time to let go. And the intimacy... or lack thereof. When you're never intimate, physically or emotionally, it creates a huge void. After months of trying to reignite that spark, and feeling rejected or ignored, I learned that a relationship simply cannot thrive without that connection. It’s not just about sex, but the closeness, affection, and vulnerability that physical intimacy often signifies. Its absence was a painful reminder that we were drifting further apart. So, what happens when you see these signs and know in your heart it's truly time to let go? It's a journey, not a destination. First, acknowledge your feelings. It's okay to grieve the loss of the relationship you had, or the one you hoped for. Then, focus on rebuilding your own life. Engage in activities that bring you joy, reconnect with friends and family, and perhaps even explore new hobbies. For me, focusing on self-care became paramount. It meant setting boundaries, learning to say no, and actively pursuing what made me happy, rather than waiting for someone else to provide it. The healing journey is deeply personal. There will be good days and bad days. But every step you take towards self-love and independence is a step towards a happier, healthier future. Remember, letting go isn't giving up; it's making space for something better, and for a truer version of yourself to emerge. Trust your instincts when those fundamental parts of a relationship are missing. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to walk away when it's clear things aren't going to work out.

44 comments

Maja🤎's images
Maja🤎

It only gets worse, especially with marriage. Never wait for someone to change! You’re only wasting your time. This is a reason why you should wait to have kids too. Otherwise you’d be stuck. Sending love 🫶🏻

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Smitty's images
Smitty

I’ll never understand why intimacy is so important to ppl🫠me and my husband went a whole year without doing anything intimate and we’re perfectly fine bc we understand personal reasons and struggles. Some ppl just aren’t sexual

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