I feel alone

This is a hard topic to talk about.

I have been struggling maintaining relationships the last three or four months maybe. Talking to people has been hard. Holding an emotional connection has been hard.

I’ve distanced a good amount from friends. And the worst part is I feel myself pulling away from my bf.

This month is our three year anniversary. I’m excited but also so anxious. I’ve been waiting for this for months and now I feel numb to everything. I’ve had a lot going on lately and maybe I just desensitized. As every relationship has problems I know it’s normal and we’ve always worked through them. But I just feel so numb. And I know he’s trying but I still feel distanced. But also I love him and the idea of losing him makes me sick to my stomach.

Life is never easy but my life right now is definitely not easy. It has been stressor after stressor. And I’ve just struggled to connect emotionally with my bf. I know he loves me just men are different and show their love different. His love languages are different than mine and sometimes I feel like mine aren’t met. But also I know he’s trying just I get frustrated and then feel like a bad gf. Idk what to do.

I don’t know how to reconnect with my bf, friends, or family. I just feel like I disassociated from my own life and don’t know how to get back. It has happened before in the past and I usually always act recklessly bc of it and don’t care about peoples feelings. I don’t want to do that this time though.

Has anybody else experienced something similar? It just feels so lonely and I feel angry at myself for feeling this way.

#embracevulnerability #Lemon8Diary #shareyourthoughts #mentalhealth