Just because you’re related doesn’t they’r family.
Hey hey. I had 3 witty posts to put up this week and i couldn’t do a single one. I procrastinated each one till the last min because they weren’t a real reflection of whats going on in rl right now. So, here I go being true to whats real. Which was the intention of this page all along. 💪🏾😤
I finally, finally, finally, FINALLY made amends with letting go of several toxic family members & friends. A form of radical acceptance. I deleted phone numbers and blocked all forms of contact. Honestly, they stayed around this long because “they weren’t as bad as the actual narcissist of the family” but that wasn’t true. This how generational curses are created and continued. ⛓️
They’re involvement in my life was just as energetically and emotionally taxing expense as the narcissist. They enabled, gaslight, mocked, gossiped, competed, bread-crumbing and resented all the ways I took lead to maintain my boundaries and distance. I dove deep and figured out that it was another way of codependency. I still held on to being seen as the good sister, daughter, granddaughter, cousin etc. When It never served me in the first place. ❌There is not one single family member I can honestly be my full self with and that is a hard pill to swallow.
🗯️How did I finally have this epiphany? Subconsciously, I experimented. I’ve always been very observants wether I needed it or not. Mental notes are always being taken lol. When life was good I barely heard from them. I did all the chasing to keep in touch and connect. When I was homeless twice, those same family members did the absolute least to save face or nothing at all help me.
HOWEVER, they kept calling 📞 to check in on me. Not realizing this was a way of parasitically stealing my energy. When life was up again. They distanced themselves. I chased. Same routine. Lately, i’ve had a few challenges and I realized the same pattern has repeated. Thanks to this Lunar Eclipse in Libra ♎️. I had enough insight to find the cause. I kept allowing them to syphon my energy which leads me to have the extreme bouts of lathargy, fatigue, depressive episodes. So when, challenges do arise I don’t have the stamina to overcome them is a stable and efficient way. Rather it causes more drama before it gets better. Meanwhile, their happy off my struggle. Hellllllllll no!
I’m at a point in my life where I can quantum leap into my destiny (Saturn Return) I truly cannot afford to have people who blood 🩸 or not surround me and think ill of me even in the most microscopic of ways. I need my people to adore me and accept me for me. Who can be authentic and honest with me always. I deserve that. Thats what real love is. Self love. That’s why I’ll choose me everytime. Because I am my own world. My own Alpha and Omega. My own constant. Whereever I go. There I am. My own YOUniverse.
*mic drop* 🎤
#embracevulnerability #lemon8challenge #unfiltered #storytime #selflove #toxic #reallifeaesthetic #healing #wellness #astrology
Reading my journey, you might resonate with the sheer exhaustion and emotional toll that toxic family dynamics can inflict. It’s an incredibly brave step to even consider detaching, especially when society often tells us 'blood is thicker than water.' But what if that 'blood' is actually draining your life force, leaving you depleted and constantly questioning your worth? For anyone grappling with this, know that finding the courage to step away is the first, most powerful act of self-love you can undertake. It wasn't an overnight decision for me; it was a slow accumulation of real moments of realization, where I finally acknowledged that some relationships, no matter the label, just weren't serving my highest good. I used to battle with immense guilt, constantly apologizing to my past self for not seeing the signs sooner, for allowing the patterns to repeat. But then I realized, 'I know better. I do better. I healed better.' This shift in mindset was absolutely pivotal in reclaiming my power. One of the hardest parts was internalizing that letting go isn't a failure; it's a profound act of self-awareness. It’s recognizing that you deserve peace, respect, and genuine connection. Through journaling and deep introspection, I learned to create my own 'quotes' or affirmations that became my personal shield. Things like: 'My peace is non-negotiable, and I am the guardian of my energy,' or 'I am worthy of love that doesn't cost me my soul and my sanity.' These weren't just catchy phrases from a self-help book; they were truths forged in my own difficult experiences, giving me strength when I felt weakest. The process of healing from these ties is profoundly ongoing. It’s not just about deleting phone numbers or blocking social media; it's about actively re-parenting yourself, nurturing the parts that were wounded, and deliberately building new, healthier connections. I found immense strength in focusing on my own growth, understanding that by breaking free, I was also stopping the cycle of generational curses right in its tracks. This act wasn't selfish; it was a necessary, life-affirming boundary for my mental and emotional well-being and, potentially, for setting a new, healthier path for future generations. If you find yourself feeling that familiar pull to chase or fix, or to justify their behavior, pause. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, 'Is this truly reciprocal? Am I being seen, valued, and respected in this interaction?' If the honest answer is no, then it’s time to gently, but firmly, redirect that precious energy inwards. Seek out relationships that authentically uplift you, that celebrate your wins, and offer genuine, stable support during your struggles. True family, I've learned, resides where love is unconditional, respect is mutual, and your spirit feels safe. Remember, your journey of self-love and healing is incredibly valid and uniquely yours, and you absolutely deserve to be your own alpha and omega, your own constant in this universe.
🥰🔥 Wishing you all the healing, happiness, and health on your journey. 😌