I was AuDHD the whole time. Just a very high-masking female with a lot of control issues, trauma, and age regression. It was OCD that caused rumination & I can’t say she didn’t warn me. I just felt like I needed that control over my meds with my OCPD backed by trauma and they let me help navigate my treatment plan. Regardless, we got there together and they didn’t push me into it. They went through everything with me as a team should. The last three years has saved my life. My 30s have been better than my 20s ever were. The whole time I was raw dogging EMDR therapy with medication that triggered episodes instead of calming them. The first time I took my prescription low dose stimulant, my mind cleared and it all started making sense. Since then I’ve been coming off of 1600mg of SSRIs and tapering off – now being on 300mg. I truly can’t believe that one medication and rescue anxiety medication is all I needed to begin with. Of course, therapy. I would have never made it without my therapy. Doctors are too quick to see trauma and diagnose a mood disorder. Mania isn’t a part of CPTSD, but rumination and psychosis can be. Especially when backed by undiagnosed autism. #neurodivergent #latediagnosedautistic #complexptsd #overstimulatedmom
Living with AuDHD and related conditions like OCD and complex PTSD often means facing unique challenges that standard treatments might not fully address. From my experience, high-masking autism can make symptoms less visible but equally overwhelming internally, especially when combined with trauma and control issues such as OCPD. When I initially declined stimulant medication for 18 months, my psychiatrist increased my SSRI dosage instead, fearing mania. This period was difficult as the treatment wasn’t addressing the root causes effectively, leading to continued rumination and episodes. However, once I cautiously tried a low-dose stimulant, I noticed a significant mental clarity that helped me process my emotions and thoughts more rationally. This was a turning point in my recovery journey. EMDR therapy complemented my medication by helping me work through trauma without triggering episodes, proving that therapy is indispensable, especially with complex diagnoses. Navigating treatment collaboratively with understanding doctors who respected my input made a huge difference. It highlighted how important it is for healthcare providers to avoid rushing to mood disorder diagnoses and to consider overlapping symptoms influenced by autism or trauma. For others who might be struggling similarly, I recommend being patient and advocating for yourself in treatment decisions. Medications can be life-changing but should always be part of a broader support system including therapy and a compassionate care team. My journey also taught me that reducing medication gradually, under medical supervision, is crucial to finding the right balance. If you feel overwhelmed by overdiagnoses or treatments that don't seem to fit, remember that mental health is a complex puzzle best solved with personalized, empathetic care and self-awareness.











































































