Wow, reading your post about New Year's goals and anxiety resonated so deeply with me! It's like you peeked into my brain. I'm also a 'Type B person' who often feels overwhelmed by the pressure of the 'New Year's thing,' especially when everyone else seems to be a 'Type A' goal-setting machine. That 'toxic relationship' with perfectionism you mentioned? Been there, done that, and got the anxiety to prove it! It's so brave of you to share your experience with the chemistry degree. That feeling of pursuing something that doesn't truly make you happy, just because it's what society or others expect, is incredibly common. It highlights why traditional 'calling your shot' goal-setting can be so terrifying – what if you aim for something and, like you said, 'didn't actually want it' once you got there? Or worse, what if you fail? I've been on my own journey of 'healing that part' of myself, and I’ve found some approaches that might help 'spoon feed goal setting' in a less intimidating way. 1. Reframe 'Goals' as 'Intentions' or 'Experiments': Instead of rigid, pass-or-fail 'goals,' I now think of them as 'intentions' or 'experiments.' An intention is a direction, a focus, rather than a hard-and-fast target. An experiment is something you try, learn from, and adjust – removing the pressure of perfection. This shift in language has significantly reduced my 'anxiety' around starting. 2. Embrace the '25 Things' Approach (or fewer!): Your friend's '25 things for 2025' idea is brilliant! It's less about achieving one monumental goal and more about exploring many smaller, often joyful, things. This spreads out the pressure and celebrates variety. Maybe it's '5 things for 2024' or even just '1 thing a month.' The beauty is in the flexibility. 3. Focus on Process, Not Just Outcome: Often, our anxiety comes from focusing intensely on the end result. What if we shift to celebrating the process? For example, instead of 'write a book' (outcome), try 'write for 30 minutes every day' (process). This makes the daily action the win, not the distant, intimidating finish line. It feels much more manageable and helps build momentum without the fear of 'calling my shot' and failing. 4. The 'Anti-Vision Board' or 'Mood Board': I totally get the 'vision board' anxiety! They can feel prescriptive and overwhelming. What if you tried an 'anti-vision board' – things you don't want to do or be? Or a 'mood board' that captures feelings, colors, and vibes you want more of, rather than specific achievements? It’s about creating an inspiring atmosphere that aligns with your inner self, rather than a checklist of external accomplishments. 5. Reflect and Adjust Regularly: This is where the 'spoon feed' idea comes in. Instead of setting goals once and forgetting them until December, build in regular check-ins. Maybe monthly or quarterly. This isn't to judge failure, but to see what's working, what's shifted, and what needs adjusting. It's a gentle nudge, not a harsh critique. Remember, it's okay to approach this differently. Your journey is unique, and finding what works for you to navigate your 'toxic relationship' with goal setting is the real win. And hey, seeing a therapist is an incredible step – they can provide even more personalized strategies for managing anxiety around these pressures. You're not alone in feeling this way!