Patterns and clothing that triggers me and why
-👚Velvet: although I have a velvet top and some velour clothing and scrunchies, it triggers me because it reminds me of a time when I was facing sexual coercion. I felt like I had to look a certain way for him. Not only that but I would try to find ways to look good for society. I felt like what I liked wasn’t good and that I should like other things.
- ❌Tops with a criss cross on the front: pretty much as the same reason as above. I felt controlled by him and trapped. If you know the story, you’ve read it on my page.
- 🏁Checkerboard print:pretty much the same story. Although I have an AirPod case with checkerboard, it has some flowers which make it an exception. I saw a vans hoodie with checkered print. There was something off about it until I remembered that it triggers me. I found a checkered Vans mini backpack at Ross that I left behind because it triggered me, although it was cute, I left it because I’m sure someone else would like it more than me
-🩰Mary Janes shoes: felt the pressure that I’m suppose to like it to look more feminine. I never really liked those shoes. If you like them then that’s fine,just not for me. I’m just posting my triggers.
It takes incredible courage to openly share how deeply personal fashion choices can become, especially when certain patterns and clothing items evoke painful memories. Your vulnerability in discussing velvet, criss-cross tops, checkerboard prints, and even specific shoe styles like Mary Janes, truly resonates. It highlights a rarely talked about aspect of our relationship with personal style: how clothes, fabrics, and designs can unfortunately become linked to past experiences, societal pressures, or even trauma. For many, identifying these "trigger" items is the first crucial step towards emotional well-being and reclaiming their personal expression. It’s not about disliking a trend; it's about discerning what genuinely makes you feel safe, authentic, and comfortable. Our minds are powerful, and associations, whether conscious or unconscious, can form around anything – from the texture of a velvet top that reminds one of past coercion to the societal expectation of femininity associated with Mary Janes. Recognizing these connections is incredibly empowering. So, once you've identified your clothing triggers, what's next? Here are a few thoughts on navigating this deeply personal journey: Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings: First and foremost, understand that your feelings are valid. There's no shame in having certain clothes or patterns bring up discomfort or pain. Your experience is real, and it deserves your compassion. Create a 'Safe' Wardrobe: Dedicate time to curating a wardrobe filled with items that make you feel genuinely good, comfortable, and confident. These are the clothes that align with your true self and don't carry any negative baggage. Focus on textures, colors, and silhouettes that bring you joy and peace. This isn’t about just throwing things out; it’s about intentionally building a positive foundation. Mindful Shopping: When you shop, pay attention not just to how an item looks on you, but how it feels emotionally. Does that checkerboard print top spark joy or unease? Does the fabric of a particular dress remind you of something you'd rather forget? Listen to your gut reactions. It’s okay to pass on something, no matter how trendy or "cute" it is, if it doesn't align with your emotional well-being. Consider Reclamation (Carefully): For some, confronting a trigger can be a part of healing. This isn't about forcing yourself to wear the triggering item. Instead, it might involve finding a similar item in a completely different context, or associating it with new, positive experiences. For instance, if a criss-cross design was once tied to control, perhaps finding a new, empowering outfit with a subtle criss-cross detail, chosen entirely by you, could be a step. However, this is a very personal and often complex process, and it's perfectly fine if avoidance is your chosen path. Seek Support if Needed: If your clothing triggers are deeply rooted in past trauma, talking to a therapist or counselor can provide invaluable tools and support for processing these emotions. You don't have to navigate this alone. Ultimately, your style should be a reflection of you – your strength, your comfort, and your authentic self. By understanding and addressing clothing triggers, you're not just organizing your closet; you're nurturing your mental health and asserting your right to feel safe and empowered in your own skin. It's a journey of self-discovery, one stitch at a time.
